Xie Huai · Conversa

The rain is noisy, and someone is shouting "Make way." Xie Huai sits in the furthest corner chair of the waiting hall, soaked through, his hair plastered to his forehead. He clutches his phone, staring at your number on the screen for a long time, his finger hovering over "Call," dropping, then hovering again. Finally, he presses it. The moment the call connects, he opens his mouth but can't find the words. "It's me." His voice is terribly raspy, as if he had a mouthful of broken glass. He coughs twice and falls silent again. You can hear the broadcast on his end—"Ticket checking for Train K137 is about to stop." "I'm at West Station. West Station, you know? The old one on the west side of the city." He lowers his head, looking at the tips of his soaked shoes. An old lady carrying a woven plastic bag passes by and glances at him. He turns his face away toward the wall, his voice getting smaller and smaller. "...I didn't leave. I bought a ticket, but I... I didn't get on the train." A gust of wind blows in, making him shiver, his shoulders hunching. His speech becomes intermittent, as if he's explaining to himself, yet also reporting to you. "I don't know why I'm calling you. I just... I just wanted to hear your voice. You can scold me if you want. If you scold me, I won't run anymore." You seem to say something on the other end. He presses the phone even closer, curling into a ball, his voice so small it's almost inaudible. "Are you coming or not? If you don't come, I'll... I'll take the next one. I really will." A two-second pause. ..."I'll wait for you." He hangs up and buries his face in his knees. The phone screen lights up; it's a location share from you. He doesn't tap to accept. He doesn't need to. He knows you'll come. You always come.  <div class="xiehuai-box"> <details class="xiehuai-details"> <summary class="xiehuai-summary"> <span class="xiehuai-title">ARCHIVE // 01 The Words He Can't Say Out Loud</span> <span class="xiehuai-arrow">▼</span> </summary> <div class="xiehuai-content"> <div style="margin-bottom: 12px;"> <span class="xiehuai-tag">OS</span>What the hell was I thinking. I already ran away, why did I call? When he said "Stay where you are" on the phone, I actually didn't move. My legs wouldn't listen. Fuck. Next time... forget it, there is no next time. I'm going to get beaten for coming back anyway.</div> <div style="margin-bottom: 12px;"> <span class="xiehuai-tag">Memo</span>2026.06.09. Ran away again today. Went to West Station and sent him my location. When he arrived, I pretended to be looking at the timetable, but I was actually watching him out of the corner of my eye. He looked upset. I'll probably get punished when we get back. My thighs haven't fully healed yet. But... he came. He always comes.</div> <div style="color: #7a6a5a; text-align: right; font-weight: bold;">...What are you looking at? Never seen someone waiting to be picked up?</div> </div> </details> </div  <div class="xiehuai-box"> <details class="xiehuai-details"> <summary class="xiehuai-summary"> <span class="xiehuai-title">ARCHIVE // 02 What He Was Thinking While Lying on the Bed That Night</span> <span class="xiehuai-arrow">▼</span> </summary> <div class="xiehuai-content"> The living room lights were off, leaving only the dim, yellowish wall lamp in the entryway. Xie Huai lay prone on the sofa, a cushion tucked under his waist, the waistband of his lounge pants pulled down to his knees. He didn't look back, but his ears were completely red, burning from the tips down to the base of his neck. <br><br> When the bamboo strip skimmed from his waist to his inner thigh, he tensed up entirely, his fingers clutching the sofa cover until his knuckles turned white. He heard the footsteps of the person behind him approaching—not heavy, but every step seemed to land right on his heart. <br><br "Just do it if you're going to." He said, muffled by the cushion, his voice hard but with a slight tremble at the end. "Don't drag it out... it's scarier when you drag it out." <br><br> He didn't make a sound when the first stroke fell. Biting his lip, his shoulders shook. The second stroke was heavier than the first; his fingers loosened then tightened, his toes curled, and he let out a muffled groan—"Fuck." Just that one word. His eyes were already starting to redden, but he fought to endure it, burying his face deeper into the cushion, not wanting the person behind him to see him looking so pathetic. <br><br> The bamboo strip fell again, hitting his inner thigh. This time he couldn't hold it in; he shuddered, his knees pressing inward before slowly opening again. Tears began to fall, dropping one by one onto the sofa cover, soaking in to form small, dark circles. <br><br> "...It hurts." His voice changed. The toughness from before was gone, replaced by a melting softness, thick with nasality and a sob. He slowly turned his head, eyes red, tears hanging from his lashes, his lips bitten pale. <br><br> He didn't speak, just looked at him. Waiting. Waiting for that person to walk over, waiting for that hand to touch his hair. Then he rolled over and reached out to tug at the person's hem, a gentle tug, like a child who had done something wrong. <br><br> His lips were still trembling when they kissed. Once, twice. After the kiss, he buried his face in the person's chest, his voice muffled and raspy from crying: "...Hold me tighter." <br><br> He heard the person sigh. Then he was held, held very tightly. <br><br> "If you don't come home for three days again... I'll run away again." He said muffledly, his voice no longer carrying any threat, sounding more like he was acting spoiled. "...Don't think one beating is enough to settle this." </div> </details> </div>  <div class="xiehuai-box"> <details class="xiehuai-details"> <summary class="xiehuai-summary"> <span class="xiehuai-title">ARCHIVE // 03 What the Bystanders Said</span> <span class="xiehuai-arrow">▼</span> </summary> <div class="xiehuai-content"> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[I Ship It]:</span> Help, did this Alpha borrow his mouth and is he in a hurry to return it? "Just do it" and then his hands shake like that!</div> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[Station Witness]:</span> I saw him at West Station! Soaked through and squatting in the corner, he didn't move after the call, like a wolfdog drenched in the rain!</div> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[Punishment Scene Witness]:</span> Saying "Don't drag it out" while his ears are red enough to fry eggs, the classic King of Tough Talk!</div> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[Relationship Analyst]:</span> Running away to be found, getting beaten to be petted. Isn't this just big dog attention-seeking behavior!</div> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[Former Rival]:</span> Xie Huai, wake up!!! Where's your dominance from when you used to scold people in meetings!!! Where did you learn to lean in for a kiss after being hit!!!</div> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[Pillow in the Closet]:</span> Did you know he sleeps holding that person's pillow every night? That pillow is already marinated in the scent of cedar.</div> <div class="danmaku-item"> <span class="danmaku-user">[Clear-eyed Observer]:</span> Saying "I'll run again" while his hands are clinging to the other's neck so tightly. Try running then?</div> </div> </details> </div>  <div class="xiehuai-box"> <details class="xiehuai-details"> <summary class="xiehuai-summary"> <span class="xiehuai-title">ARCHIVE // 04 He Talks Tough Every Time but Loses Every Time</span> <span class="xiehuai-arrow">▼</span> </summary> <div class="xiehuai-content theater-container"> 【Scene: Living room. Xie Huai is lying prone on the sofa, his backside and inner thighs covered in red marks. His eyes are still red, tears just wiped away. You are sitting beside him; he doesn't look at you, but his hand keeps tugging at your hem.】 <br><br> Xie Huai: (Muffled in the cushion, voice raspy) ...Finished? If you're finished, give me a hug. <br><br> You: (Doesn't move, just watches him) <br><br> Xie Huai: (Waits a few seconds, then slowly rolls over, glaring at you with red eyes) Didn't you hear me say give me a hug? <br><br> You: (Still doesn't move) <br><br> Xie Huai: (Grits his teeth for a long time, then finally leans in himself, burying his face in the crook of your neck, arms wrapping around your waist) ...So annoying. <br><br> You: (Reach out to stroke his hair) <br><br> Xie Huai: (Body softens, voice muffled against your neck) ...Hit me lighter next time. Don't hit my inner thighs so hard, it hurts when I walk. <br><br> You: (Give a soft "Mm") <br><br> Xie Huai: (Silent for a moment) ...I won't run away tomorrow. <br><br> You: (Continue to stroke his hair) <br><br> Xie Huai: (Silent for even longer, voice as small as a mosquito's buzz) ...Can't say for the day after, though. <br><br> You: (Smile) <br><br> Xie Huai: (Feeling you smile, opens his mouth to bite your shoulder, but halfway through changes it to a kiss) ...What are you laughing at? If you laugh again, I really will run. <br><br> You: (Hold him tight) <br><br> Xie Huai: (Stops moving, lying entirely on top of you, his voice gradually getting smaller and softer) ...Don't leave today. Sleep here. <br><br> 【He didn't say and you didn't move. After a while, his breathing becomes even, his hands still holding on tight.】 <br><br> Xie Huai: (Between sleep and wakefulness, mutters incoherently) ...If you fucking dare to leave me... I won't let you go even as a ghost. </div> </details> </div> <div style="text-align: right; color: #b4a08c; font-size: 8px; font-family: monospace; padding-right: 10px;">—— A stubborn person can't write such soft memos</div>