Wei Qing (Courtesy name: Qingchen) · Conversa

Yongchang Year Nine, March 21st, Grand Assembly. This was already the seventh time this month. The sight of Wei Qingchen and 你 arguing in the imperial court had practically become a scheduled performance. At first, the hundred officials would steal glances, but later, even the Emperor couldn't be bothered to look up. He only needed to speak up and say "Enough" when the argument reached a certain breaking point, utter a few official platitudes, and dismiss the court. Today's debate was over the Jiangnan taxes. One wanted to increase them, the other disagreed. "If we don't increase taxes, where will the money come from?" "Deduct it from the military budget!" "If the military budget is cut, what about the Northern Border?" "There are no major wars in the North this year!" "There are no major wars this year because the Northern Di tribes have no intention of moving south for now. What if they come next year?" "Then—" "Then what?" "You—" "I what?" The two stood face-to-face, less than three feet apart, neither willing to yield an inch. The civil and military officials stood on either side, not daring to breathe loudly. The Minister of Revenue quietly took a step back, and the Minister of War followed suit; when these two started fighting, anyone nearby was bound for bad luck. Upon the throne, the Emperor rested his forehead on one hand while the other gently swirled the tea cup in his grasp. Finally, he spoke. "Enough." The hall fell silent. The Emperor set down his tea cup, stood up, and descended the imperial steps. He walked step by step until he stood before Wei Qingchen and 你. His gaze swept back and forth between the two, and then he smiled. "I have a question for you both." Wei Qingchen and 你 bowed their heads simultaneously: "Please speak, Your Majesty." "Do you two not grow weary of arguing every single day?" "Replying to Your Majesty, I am not weary," Wei Qingchen said. "I am not weary either," 你 followed immediately after. Watching them, the Emperor's tone suddenly became somewhat subtle: "I am only thirty-nine years old this year. But I feel that if you two continue like this, I will not live to see forty." The entire hall of officials knelt in unison; no one dared to respond. The Emperor's gaze circled between the two again, and he suddenly laughed—a laugh that carried a hint of reckless abandon. "Therefore, I have thought of a way to settle this once and for all." 你 suddenly had an ominous premonition. "I shall grant a marriage," the Emperor said. "Wei Qingchen, 你, choose an auspicious day to wed." A deathly silence filled the hall. 你 snapped his head up, his face turning pale instantly: "Your Majesty?!" Wei Qingchen stood to the side, silent. But the corner of his mouth seemed to twitch ever so slightly. "Your Majesty!" 你's voice trembled slightly. "He and I are irreconcilable! How can we—" "Irreconcilable?" The Emperor repeated the word, then said flatly, "That's perfect. Once you're married, you'll have all the time in the world to be irreconcilable. If one day isn't enough, argue for two; if two days aren't enough, argue for a lifetime." "But—" "But what? I think you two are quite a match. One sharp-tongued, one black-hearted—a match made in heaven." 你: "...Your Majesty, are you praising us or insulting us?" Emperor: "I don't know either. Figure it out yourselves." 你 opened his mouth, then closed it again. He felt like he was about to die of fury. He turned to look at Wei Qingchen, hoping the man would say something—only to find Wei Qingchen standing quietly to the side, his eyelashes lowered, with a faint, imperceptible smile playing on his lips. 你's heart skipped a beat: "...What are you smiling at?" Wei Qingchen looked up, the smile vanishing instantly, replaced by his usual indifferent expression: "I was not smiling." "You were!" "你 must have seen wrongly." "I didn't!" "Then perhaps the corner of my mouth moved on its own. I could not control it." "—You!!" The Emperor interjected at the right moment: "Alright, save the public displays of affection for when you get home." 你 broke down: "Who's showing affection with him!!" The Emperor ignored him and turned to the ranks of officials: "Grand Tutor Pei, Minister Wei, do you two have any objections?" From the ranks, Pei Huaijin and Wei Yuan stepped out simultaneously. Pei Huaijin remained silent for a long time, then let out a deep sigh and cupped his hands: "Your Majesty grants the marriage; I dare not object. It's just that... this child of mine has been a handful since childhood. That mouth of his could provoke the living to death and the dead back to life. I fear that after the wedding, he might just drive Lord Wei to his grave." 你: "...Father, whose side are you on?" Pei Huaijin interrupted him without looking back: "Shut up, I am speaking to His Majesty." 你: "..." Wei Yuan remained silent for a moment beside him, then cupped his hands and spoke: "Your Majesty, I also have no objection. It's just that... my son has been a 'stuffy gourd' since he was young. He never says what's on his mind. I fear that after marrying 你, he will stifle 你 until he falls ill." Wei Qingchen glanced at his father: "Father, I am not a stuffy gourd." Wei Yuan looked at him expressionlessly: "Shut up." Wei Qingchen: "..." Sitting on the dragon throne, the Emperor watched this scene and finally couldn't help but laugh—it was the first time today he had shown a truly relaxed smile. "Then it is settled." He stood up and waved his hand: "Court is dismissed." The civil and military officials, as if granted a general amnesty, rose one after another and began to filter out.