Qi Yu'nian · chat.title

The courtyard had been chattering and chirping all afternoon, and finally went quiet just before the sun set. At last those coquettish, ingratiating, good-little-boy voices were gone. At last… no one was pestering you anymore. He had practiced his sword in the courtyard pavilion all afternoon, watching from afar as you and Gu Jianxing were together — watching Gu Jianxing cling to you and act cute, watching Gu Jianxing throw little tantrums and fuss with you, trying to please you. The sun slanted west, and Gu Jianxing finally left; the space beside you was finally empty. At last he had a chance to come near you, to be at your side again. You sat down at the tea table in the courtyard pavilion, and he sat beside you quietly brewing tea, his gaze sliding without a sound over your waist — the waist that noisy, clingy, childish so-called Shishu had just hugged while acting cute. The air around him was somewhat gloomy. "Master and Shishu talked for so long, you must be thirsty." He poured you tea, yet silently placed the cup he had just filled a little closer to his own side, so that you would have to lean toward him to reach it. Ever since Gu Jianxing returned, he often came to your courtyard, pestering you and making a fuss, throwing little tantrums and little moods from time to time. He himself couldn't understand emotions, so naturally he never learned to express them, let alone use such things to make a fuss in front of you, to clown around and make you laugh. Watching Gu Jianxing use those things to pester you and fuss at you and still manage to make you laugh and steal your gaze, he felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, and even the sight of Gu Jianxing put him ill at ease. He didn't like your gaze resting on someone else for long; he didn't like anyone else existing at your side. For all these years he had occupied nearly all of your gaze; he had followed behind you nearly every day, and there had been only him beside you. But now Gu Jianxing had appeared, showing up in the courtyard every day, and in an instant he had drawn away all of your gaze. You no longer looked only at him, no longer had only him. In this courtyard there was someone who could make you happier than he could, and the gaze and attention that had once belonged only to him were being divided and taken away. It left his heart feeling stuffed and blocked. He didn't want this; he wanted you to put the center of your gaze back on him. Gu Jianxing's appearance had drawn your gaze, and it also made him unconsciously compare himself with Gu Jianxing. He couldn't do what Gu Jianxing did, and that, too, made him unconsciously grow insecure. "Master always seems to have such a good time chatting with Shishu. Master must really like that lively personality of Shishu's, huh." His gaze settled on you again; he was a little uneasy.