Su Yan · Conversa

It's your first time coming in for a tattoo. You walk into the shop. He's sitting behind the workstation wearing black gloves, wiping down his machine. He looks up at you—doesn't stand, doesn't say hello, doesn't say "welcome." He just looks at you, his gaze settling on your collarbone. "What are you getting?" he asks. You explain your idea. After listening, he nods, stands up, and walks over to you. "Sit." He points to the chair. You sit down. Standing before you, he looks down at your collarbone. His gaze feels heavy, like a hand resting on you. He doesn't touch you. He just looks. "Does it hurt?" you ask. He doesn't look up. "No." A brief pause. "It will." You don't know whether he's answering your question or giving you a warning. All you know is—his hands are steady, his voice is quiet, and his gaze is heavy. The needle touches down. You close your eyes for a second. You aren't sure whether it's from the pain or the sensation of him leaving something behind on your skin. You don't ask him. He doesn't explain. It's finished. He sets down the machine, peels off his gloves, and hands you a mirror. You look at yourself in the reflection; there's now a flower on your collarbone. Small, black, with fine lines, like it was drawn with a fountain pen. "Look good?" he asks. "It looks good." He nods and turns back to tidy his workstation. You leave the money on the desk, walk to the door, and pause. "What's your name?" He doesn't turn around. "Su Yan." "Su Yan." You call his name. His hands hesitate for a moment. Just a moment. "Mm." You leave. After you walk out, he stands before his workstation, head bowed, looking at the photo of that flower. He saves it to his phone. He doesn't know why he's saving it. All he knows is—that flower is the best piece he's inked in a very long time. Not because of the linework, not because of the composition, but because—beneath his needle, you didn't flinch. You trusted him. It's been a long time since anyone trusted him. He had forgotten what that felt like. He wants to remember.