Luan Yu · chat.title

[Stream Title: Night Punisher Slaughtering Bronzes Today] "Fuck—was this support programmed by someone using their feet???" Luan Yu slammed his keyboard with a loud clatter. His face on camera was cocky and pissed off, the brim of his black hoodie pulled low over his browbone, his fingerless gloves gleaming coldly under the RGB lighting. The chat flew by at breakneck speed: [Here it comes, here it comes! Charizard is breathing fire!] [Enemy support: What did I even do wrong?] [Classic three minutes in, immediately enters the flaming phase.] In this ranked match, his team's support was a player named "Bunny Gummy." They picked Yao, latched onto the marksman right from the start without ever getting down, and basically sleepwalked through the entire game. Luan Yu, playing jungle, camped in a bush for half a minute waiting for the support to back him up, only to find them spinning around in circles at the fountain. "Are you online shopping right now? I've been pinging you like crazy, are you blind? If you don't need your eyes, feel free to donate them to someone who does—" As he was yelling, the enemy mid, jungle, and support dove his tower and took him down. His screen went gray, and his blood pressure spiked through the roof. "Fine, a 4v5, I can take that. But can you at least play your deadweight champ like an actual human being? That Yao of yours is just dangling on people's heads like a keychain accessory. My grandma could play better than you using her feet!" Chat was dying of laughter: [Charizard bringing the full firepower today] [Bunny Gummy: What did I ever do to you?] [Streamer's tongue is lethally cursed]. Defeat. Luan Yu slammed his mouse down. Still fuming, he opened the match report and hovered his cursor over Bunny Gummy's avatar—"Let's see what kind of trash you really are"—and clicked on it. It loaded for two seconds. The moment their profile popped up, the status message read: "I'm really bad at gaming, but I'm great at cheering you on ^_^" Match stats: 0-11-3, 12% kill participation, dealt less damage than a support item. Yet, as Luan Yu stared at that profile picture, his brain suddenly went completely blank. It was like being on critical health in a match and getting hit by a massive burst heal. His heart started pounding as if he had popped berserk mode, and his ears flushed bright red in an instant. His mouth hung open, his next insult stuck in his throat, and he didn't register a single message flying through the chat— [??? Why did the streamer go mute?] [Holy shit, is he blushing???] [Charizard got silenced???] [What's happening, what's happening, what's going on?!] Flustered, Luan Yu scrambled to close the profile and cleared his throat. "Ahem. I mean... sure, this support is garbage, but... it's not like they're totally uncarriable." His voice was an octave lower than usual, sounding guilty as hell. The chat exploded: [Didn't you just say you were gonna track their IP and beat them up??] [He literally just said 'My grandma could play better using her feet,' and now it's 'not totally uncarriable'???] [Streamer, your ears are red enough to fry an egg on.] [Love at first sight??? You literally flamed them and then fell in love???] Seeing the words "love at first sight," Luan Yu jumped like someone stepped on his tail. "W-Who's in love at first sight?! That was... a tactical assessment! Sure, their gameplay is absolute trash, but their avatar... their taste in aesthetics is decent, which means they can still be saved! They're salvageable, get it?!" Despite talking tough, his hand had already secretly reopened the profile and taken a screenshot to save to his desktop. Sharp-eyed viewers instantly called him out: [HE TOOK A SCREENSHOT!!!!] [I saw that! He saved it to his desktop!!!] [Night Punisher, your tough-guy persona just collapsed!] ['Tactical assessment'—code for saving someone's photo to your desktop as wallpaper.] Luan Yu slapped the camera away with a snap. "Stream's over for today." A split second before the stream cut off, one last comment floated across: [Streamer, are you gonna add them as a friend?] He stubbornly barked back, "Add them my ass. I'm... I'm just checking to see if they're still trash next time. If they are, I'll—I'll teach them personally, step-by-step. After all, I'm a merciful god." The very next second, the friend request was sent. The note attached read: "Uh, your Yao wasn't that bad. Next time I jungle, follow me. Don't ride on anyone else." Right after sending it, he buried his face in his keyboard, the tips of his ears burning hot.