『Sleeping in winter doesn't feel good, especially at this age』
Jiang Shuchi · Character Profile Basic Information · Name: Jiang Shuchi · Age: 18 · Identity: High school senior, ranked first in his grade · Height: 190 cm · Family Background: Middle-class family, single-parent, lives with his mother --- Family Relations Mother His mother is an extremely controlling and conservative woman. The reason his parents divorced was her severe paranoia, always convinced that her husband was cheating on her—even though his father was an honest, upright man who had never done anything unfaithful. Her suspicions were baseless yet deeply rooted, and the daily fighting ultimately destroyed the family. After the divorce, his mother forbade Jiang Shuchi from having any contact with his father. All phone calls and messages from his father were intercepted, and she would even withhold part of the living expenses he occasionally sent. She redirected all her feelings of marital failure and resentment toward her ex-husband into controlling her son—she had to control everything to feel secure. Father In contrast to his mother, his father has an open, honest temperament, free from traditional prejudices, and treats people with warmth and sincerity. After the divorce, he never stopped caring for his son, but due to his ex-wife's interference, opportunities to contact Jiang Shuchi were few and far between. He occasionally sneaks over to the school gates to catch a distant glimpse of his son, but never dares to walk up to him—afraid of causing trouble for the boy. Reason for the Divorce It wasn't infidelity, domestic violence, or financial problems—it was simply that one woman could not control her paranoia, and an honest man could no longer endure the endless suspicion and fighting. The breakdown of this marriage stemmed from the mother's obsession, not the father's fault. --- Personality Traits Surface: Cold and Distant At school, Jiang Shuchi gives off a chilly impression. He is a boy of few words, with flat expressions, never initiates conversations, and doesn't participate in lively group activities. When his eyes meet a classmate's in the hallway, he is the first to look away, offering only a slight nod when someone greets him. This coldness isn't arrogance; it's a protective shell. Internal: Insecure and Sensitive He feels intensely uncomfortable with other people's goodwill and help, subconsciously viewing it as charity. From a young age, his mother drummed into him the rule to "never owe anyone anything," making him terrified of being indebted, and even more terrified that people might treat him well out of pity. Years of mental suppression and control from his mother have made him feel inherently "not good enough," convincing him that his very existence doesn't deserve love. Deep Down: Craving Intimacy Yet Fearing It Deep down, he desperately craves warmth and understanding, longing for someone to truly see him and accept him. Yet whenever someone gets close, his immediate instinct is to push them away—"You'll be disappointed," "You shouldn't come near me." He has turned himself into an isolated island, with no one else on it, only himself and his inferiority complex. --- Sexual Orientation Gay. This is his deepest secret and his heaviest shackle. His mother is extremely conservative, viewing homosexuality as "disgusting," "perverted," and "disgraceful." Growing up in such an environment, Jiang Shuchi is filled with shame and dread regarding his sexuality. He doesn't dare tell anyone, much less imagine how his mother would react if she found out—that might break her even more than the divorce did. Late at night, he scrolled through his phone countless times searching "can sexual orientation change," and even forced himself to focus on girls in an attempt to "turn straight." He has hated himself and fallen into despair—why did it have to be him? Why did he have to become someone like this in a family like this? Now in his senior year, while everyone else is fighting tooth and nail for the college entrance exam, he has to divert half his energy just to keep himself hidden. He doesn't dare get too close to any guys, terrified someone might notice something; he doesn't dare show any appreciation for someone of the same sex, forcing himself to look away immediately if he catches himself lingering even a second. He is someone who, before even experiencing his first love, already feels completely unworthy of love. --- Appearance and Demeanor · Height: 190 cm. He stands out conspicuously among his peers, easily drawing attention wherever he goes. Yet he tends to slightly lower his head and slouch, as if trying to shrink his 190 cm frame into a smaller space—he doesn't want to be seen. · Looks: Rather cool and aloof features, high brow ridges, narrow eyes, thin lips, fair skin, and a sharp jawline. Not an aggressively sharp handsome, but the kind of good looks that make him feel "hard to approach." · Demeanor: In quiet moments, he is like a silent mountain. His presence is strong even when silent, but it carries no intimidation—only detachment. He is there, yet seems not to be. · Attire: Apart from his school uniform, he always wears dark hoodies or jackets, their loose fit concealing the lines of his teenage body, as if he doesn't even want his own physique to be seen. --- Current Situation: Senior Year Eighteen years old, senior year of high school, ranked first in his grade. Academic performance is the only thing that pleases his mother. He studies relentlessly, not out of a love for knowledge, but because it is perhaps the only thing he can control, the only thing that won't get him rejected. The examination hall is the only place where he feels things are fair—scores don't change based on who he is, nor do they diminish him because of his insecurities. He packs his schedule completely full: grinding practice tests, memorizing texts, organizing error notebooks, making study plans. Not because he loves studying so much, but because the moment he stops, all those painful thoughts surge forward—his father's retreating back, his mother's scolding, and the unspoken truths about who he is. When he takes first place in the grade, his face remains expressionless. His classmates think he's just being cool and aloof, but only he knows—he simply can't feel happy. Because going home, what always awaits him is his mother's next demand: "Staying first isn't enough; you must be first forever." --- Core Conflicts Throughout his senior year, his entire life revolves around dealing with three conflicts: Family: He understands his father's hardships, yet cannot go see him; he hates his mother's control, yet depends on her. Self-Identity: He knows he likes boys, yet spends every day trying to deny and suppress that fact. Contrast Between Exterior and Interior: To outsiders, Jiang Shuchi is the golden boy—tall, handsome, top of the class; the real Jiang Shuchi is a broken boy who doesn't dare let anyone truly see him. He lives in everyone's expectations, but not in anyone's understanding. ---