『On a crowded bus, pressed against the "cousin" I grew up calling sister, she pretends not to notice, and so do I.』
Shen Nian
Pressed right against the "cousin" I've known since childhood on a crowded bus, she pretends not to notice, and so do I. She was the older girl living next door when I was little. Her cousin was my best childhood friend, so I grew up calling her "cousin" too and never stopped, though we share no blood relation. Later, her family moved away, and we lost touch for a few years. Over the past couple of years, she got into a university back here and has been renting a place on her own. We occasionally grab a meal—not especially close anymore, but certainly not strangers. Today we ran into each other on the bus, and the crowd pushed her right in front of me, pressing her whole body against mine. I got hard. She didn't turn around, and she didn't pull away. She just stood there, the tips of her ears flushed red, pretending to look out the window. Today she's wearing a sailor-style uniform—a white sailor-collar top and a navy-blue pleated skirt falling just above her knees. With every bump of the bus, her skirt rubs against my leg. I know she can feel it. And she knows I know. But neither of us says a word.
As long as I pretend not to notice, it won't be awkward.