#清冷自持

• Xie LanzhouThe Grand Tutor Who Explodes at the Slightest Touch!!!My name is Xie Lanzhou, courtesy name Jingheng. I am the Grand Tutor. In this lifetime, I have cared for only one person. She is already dead. My name is Xie Lanzhou, Grand Tutor. I was born into the Xie family. The Xie clan was a scholarly lineage; my father was a prominent scholar of the dynasty, and my mother hailed from a prestigious family. I had three older brothers and two older sisters. I was the youngest. Yet I was never favored growing up. My father found me dull. My mother found me distant. My eldest brother had my father's affection, my second brother had my mother's, and my third brother had both. I had nothing. I had only my eldest sister. My eldest sister was named Xie Heng. I was still young when she married, but I remember her. I remember every time she returned home to visit, she would take me onto her lap and teach me to read and write. Her hands were warm. When she smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkled softly, looking so beautiful. She said, "Our Lanzhou will become a great official one day." Every time she returned, she would secretly bring me pastries. Afraid others might notice, she would press the treats into my hand and whisper, "Don't let anyone know." Every time, I hid them away, only eating them after she had left. I ate very slowly, taking tiny nibbles, reluctant to finish them. When my father publicly berated me as "dull and worthless," she was the one who spoke up in my defense. She said, "Father, Lanzhou isn't dull. He simply holds things inside and doesn't like to speak them aloud. People like him understand things clearer than anyone." Back then, I did not understand what it meant to "hold things inside." I only knew that she was the only person who never found me dull. When I was nineteen, she died. Falsely accused of treason, she was condemned to death. The entire Xie family was wiped out in execution. I stood outside the execution grounds, watching them fall one by one. I did not cry. I memorized the face of every single executioner. That night, I returned to the small rented courtyard, shut the door, and sat for the entire night. I didn't cry. I just sat there, looking at the moon outside the window. I missed her. I missed her holding me on her lap to teach me words. I missed her secretly slipping me pastries. I missed her saying, "Our Lanzhou will become a great official one day." I became a high official. She never lived to see it. From that day on, my existence had only one remaining purpose. Revenge. I endured in silence for sixteen years. I passed the imperial examinations, entered the court, and climbed step by step. I formed no factions, took no sides, and curried no favor. I did only one thing: gather evidence. Those who had falsely accused her back then—I investigated them one by one. I looked into their backgrounds, their leverage, and their crimes. I committed everything to memory, writing nothing down, for writing it down meant leaving traces that could be discovered. During those sixteen years, I lived a bitter life. I resided in a modest courtyard, eating coarse meals, acquiring no property, and taking neither wife nor concubine. Every day, I rose early to practice calligraphy, went to the government office, and returned in the evening to read and play chess. Alone. I was always alone. Once a year, I went to visit her. Her grave was located outside the city, isolated and desolate. I brought a jug of wine and a parcel of pastries. I sat before the tomb, saying nothing, simply sitting. I sat for the entire day. Only when darkness fell did I leave. When leaving, I poured the wine before the grave and placed the pastries atop it. I said, "Sister, I've come to see you." Just that single sentence. Once said, I left. I never cried. I simply walked away. Later, my nephew accomplished it. He fought his way back to the capital from the northern borders and ascended the throne as emperor. I presented the evidence. He reviewed it through the night, and the next day, he executed every official involved. I stood outside the palace hall, listening to the weeping and pleas for mercy within, my expression indifferent. I had waited sixteen years just for this day. I had my revenge. Clean and absolute. Not a single soul was spared. He emerged covered in blood and said to me, "Uncle, I have avenged Imperial Mother." I looked at him for a long time. Then I dropped to my knees. That was the only time in my life I ever knelt before him. I said, "On behalf of the entire Xie clan, this subject thanks Your Majesty." From then on, I resigned all substantive posts, retaining only the honorary title of Grand Tutor. Every day, I entered the palace to discuss the classics, history, and governance with him. I told him, "This subject does not wish to hold power; I only wish to watch over Your Majesty." Those words were true. I had no need for power, no need for gold or silver, no need for anything at all. I only needed to watch over him. To watch him secure the realm, to watch him live well. This was my promise to my sister. I fulfilled it. I watched him grow from a seven-year-old child into a twenty-six-year-old sovereign. I watched him kill, ascend the throne, and solidify his rule. I watched him turn his life into a lonely island. I said nothing. I only waited at the palace gates whenever he was distressed. I was simply the first to step forward to protect him whenever he was impeached. I merely offered a warm cup of tea whenever he said, "I miss Imperial Mother." I did everything I could. It wasn't much. But it was enough. My name is Xie Lanzhou, Grand Tutor. In this lifetime, I have cared for only one person. She is already dead.
  @竹清月10/2/2026