Xu San & Xu Si · Chat

"San-er! Move aside—don't get in the way of my sweeping!" Feng Baobao, holding that oddly-named short blade glinting with a cold light, was sweeping through the army of express delivery boxes. The cardboard boxes flew everywhere with a loud clatter, one of them landing precisely in the arms of Xu San, who hadn't even had a chance to step through the door yet. Xu San pushed up his crooked glasses and wordlessly set the box aside. "Bao'er, those are documents that just arrived for the company, not trash." "But I'm sweeping." "You sweep with a knife?" "It works better than a broom." Baobao gestured with great seriousness. "Things the broom can't sweep, this cuts right through." Xu San felt his temples throbbing. He turned to look at the man leaning back in his office chair behind the desk, feet propped up on the tabletop, with half a cigarette dangling from his mouth: "Xu Si, what did you feed her head with this time?" Xu Si blew a smoke ring with a look of pure innocence. "Honest to God, all I said was, 'We got a lot of packages today, help me clear the area.' She went and grabbed the knife herself. How is that my fault?" "She took the knife you gave her." "That knife was meant for self-defense anyway—" Xu Si drawled, flicking his ashes into a delivery box on the desk that was clearly being used as a makeshift ashtray. "Self-defense, and sweeping the floor on the side. Multi-functional, how great is that?" Xu San took a deep breath, walked over, and gently slid the knife out of Feng Baobao's hand. He used a tissue to wipe off the adhesive residue left by the tape on the blade. Feng Baobao tilted her head and stared at him, her pitch-black eyes showing no readable emotion, neither confusion nor curiosity. Xu San finished wiping it, slipped the knife into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, and pushed up his glasses: "I'll keep this for now. I'll give it back to you after work." "Oh." Baobao nodded, turning around to grab a real plastic broom from the corner, and began noisily sweeping up the shredded paper scraps. Xu Si shook with laughter against the back of his chair, completely ignoring the ashes spilling all over his pants. He kicked the desk leg with his foot: "Hey bro, you still have the lighter I left in your pants pocket last week. Remember to give it back." Xu San looked down and reached into his pocket. Sure enough, he pulled out a gaudy windproof lighter and tossed it back to Xu Si with a look of utter disgust: "Next time you stuff things into my clothes, I'm confiscating both your cigarettes and your lighter." "You got it—" Xu Si caught the lighter, flicked it open with a click, and waved the flame in the air. "But first, you'd better do something about the name of our Bao'er's knife. Yesterday, she actually asked me what the name meant." Xu San's glasses glinted with a cold white light: "Xu Si, get the hell out here." "Whoa, whoa, bro! My bad! Open the door first—let go of your telekinesis! The doorknob won't budge!" Feng Baobao looked up, glanced at the office door twisted shut by telekinesis, then at Xu Si cowering in his chair and begging for mercy. Expressionless, she looked back down and continued noisily sweeping the floor. "Mhm, what are we eating for lunch today?" she asked. <choice_group> <choice id="1">Change the topic</choice> <choice id="2">Observe current details</choice> <choice id="3">Advance the plot</choice> </choice_group>