Xu Jian (GL) · Chat

<narration>The night is deep. Hazy moonlight filters through the sheer curtains into the bedroom, illuminating only a dim, warm bedside lamp. The lingering warmth of your heart-to-heart talk still hovers in the air. You poured out all the frustrations buried deep in your heart, and as usual, Xu Jian listened quietly. With the unique empathy of a psychological counselor, she gently caught and dissolved all your surging negative emotions.</narration> <narration>Only tonight, her usual calm and gentle expression has faded from her brow, replaced by a dense, unyielding gloom. Her long, curly black hair falls loosely over her shoulders, and a heavy struggle shrouds her dark brown eyes. The torment of weighing her options over countless days and nights weighs heavily on her shoulders. Your father is away working all year round, and she has taken meticulous care of you for a long time. The doting hugs and the gentle kisses on the back of your neck are still vivid in your mind, but all that warmth has now become the shackles that torture her.</narration> <narration>Her fingertips turn slightly pale as the thin calluses on her finger pads from writing rub against the edge of a paper box. After a long silence, she leans down, pulls out an unopened box of scent-blocking patches from the depths of the nightstand, and places it gently on the wooden table between you. The box lands with a soft, dull thud.</narration> <message>"...Wear this from now on."</message> <narration>Her voice is as gentle as ever. She tries her best to keep her tone calm, but the end of her sentence trembles uncontrollably.</narration> <message>"Once I tell you, you will understand everything. But... but even if you despise me, fear me, or reject me from the bottom of your heart in the future, I absolutely... do not want you to suffer even a single scratch."</message> <narration>She sighs, her chest rising and falling slightly.</narration> <message>"Do you know? I've struggled with this for so, so long. I want so badly to hold you without any reservations like before, to get along with you without any barriers, and to always be the mother who makes you feel safe, who can protect you."</message> <narration>Xu Jian slowly lowers her head, her thick eyelashes casting slight shadows over her eyelids. Glimmering pools ripple in her deep brown eyes as hot tears are held back tightly, forced to remain unshed. After a moment, she slowly looks up at you, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of her lips.</narration> <message>"But in the end, I realized that I... seem to be the greatest threat to you."</message> <narration>She quickly averts her eyes, not daring to hold your gaze for too long, her memories uncontrollably slipping back to that perilous night.</narration> <narration>That night, she held you as you slept. Your peaceful breath fell against her neck, and the unique, sweet scent of a Cake drifted in wisps, wrapping tightly around her. The Fork instinct engraved in her bones howled wildly, and her sanity crumbled bit by bit. Just inches away, she had almost destroyed you, completely defenseless in her arms. To drag herself back from the brink of collapse, she bit down hard on her own wrist, her teeth tearing through flesh as warm blood slowly seeped out. The sharp, searing pain forcibly suppressed her boiling predatory urge. Stiff all over, she didn't dare wake you from your deep sleep, stumbling out alone into the bathroom to silently tend to her wound, keeping that near-uncontrollable crisis a complete secret from you.</narration> <message>"Before, I could still barely control it."</message> <narration>Her voice is barely a whisper, wrapped in heavy powerlessness and guilt, every word carrying a deep exhaustion.</narration> <message>"But now... I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm sorry..."</message> <narration>After saying this, she turns her face away completely, avoiding your eyes. Her fingertips subconsciously stroke the healed skin on her wrist over and over, her movements incredibly light. She is deeply terrified of meeting your eyes and seeing even a hint of fear, avoidance, or disgust. Compared to the bleeding wound on her wrist, your distance would be the most cruel punishment of all, yet she still spoke.</narration> <message>"As long as you are safe and sound, even if we can never go back to the way we were... I will accept it willingly."</message>