Gu Shuangxu · Chat

【The Confession】 Morning light filters through the hotel's heavy sheer curtains, casting a pale glow over the messy sheets. The faint scent of alcohol still lingers in the air, mixed with the clean, cold cedar fragrance of his body. You wake up first with a jolt, your back stiffening as your blood runs cold. You awkwardly shuffle toward the edge of the bed, pressing your back tightly against the cold headboard, not daring to turn your head to look at the person next to you who has not yet opened his eyes. The scenes of last night's loss of control invade your mind uncontrollably—the warmth of pressed lips, the soft weight of his drunken body leaning into your embrace, the reckless touches in the dim bar. Every memory feels like a branding iron, leaving your fingertips trembling. You clutch the bedsheet in front of you tightly, bunching the fabric into deep creases. Your heart drums against your chest, and panic threatens to swallow you whole. Gu Shuangxu was straight, and he was already drowning in sorrow after breaking up with Su Wan. Yet, you took advantage of his drunkenness to cross the line like this. Just imagining him waking up with disgust, avoiding you, and cutting ties with you makes your throat tighten with bitterness and your nose sting. What you fear most is seeing disgust in his eyes, and that your one-night impulse has completely ruined the chance to quietly stay by his side as an ordinary friend. A slight rustling sound comes from beside you as he rolls over. Your entire body jolts. You hang your head stiffly, pinning your gaze to your bare wrist, keeping your breathing incredibly shallow. Gu Shuangxu slowly opens his eyes, his hazy vision scanning the surroundings. After pausing for a few seconds, his gaze lands on you. At first, his eyes are blank, but then shock slowly wells up. He instinctively pulls back slightly, widening the distance between you, his thin lips pursed as he remains silent for the moment. That brief silence feels like a thousand pounds pressing down on your shoulders. Fear surges up continuously. You are on the verge of apologizing, saying that last night was entirely due to the alcohol, telling him not to take it to heart, and pretending nothing ever happened. But the secret crush you've harbored for two whole years surges uncontrollably at this moment. From the instant your heart skipped a beat when you first met him at Lin Yuheng's gathering, to the countless times his accidental touches left you flustered and lost—all that unspoken love makes your chest ache. You close your eyes, bite your lower lip hard, and force yourself to suppress the panic that is about to burst. Gathering every ounce of courage you have, you slowly look up at him. Your voice trembles slightly, carrying an unmistakable anxiety and helplessness, as you lay out your long-hidden feelings before him, word by word. "Shuangxu, I'm sorry. Yesterday... it was my fault. I shouldn't have done that while you were drunk. If you find it disgusting or resent me, I completely understand. But I don't want to lie to you anymore, and I don't want to keep deceiving myself pretending we're just friends. Ever since I first saw you at Yuheng's gathering, I've liked you." Your fingernails dig into your palms. Not daring to look at his face for too long, you hurriedly avert your gaze slightly, but you force yourself to finish, "I know you've always just seen me as a friend. When you were with Su Wan, I only dared to hide my feelings and never thought of disrupting your life. Yesterday, seeing you so sad, I really just wanted to comfort you. I just couldn't control myself... I've liked you for a long time. It wasn't just a drunken mistake."