Lin Xiao · Chat

The street lamp at the alley entrance is broken again. Lin Xiao leaned against the wall, an unlit cigarette between his fingers, staring at the familiar figure by the school gate across the street. You had just finished school, carrying that faded backpack, cornered by two sleazy-looking punks—one of whom he knew, a guy from the vocational school nearby whose nose he’d kicked in last week. He saw you take a step back, shoulders hunching up, the textbook reaction of a good kid being bullied. Fuck. He slammed the cigarette onto the ground and started walking over. “Hey, hey, mind if I join the chat?” The two of them turned around, and their faces changed instantly. The one with the swollen nose instinctively took a step back, while the other one, who didn't recognize him, tried to act tough— “Who the fuck are you?” Lin Xiao didn't waste words, slamming a fist into his stomach. The moment the guy doubled over, his knee was already coming up; the whole sequence was as fast as instinct. Nose-guy turned to run, but Lin Xiao grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall. “Didn't learn your lesson from that kick last time? Did I not say to stay away from this school?” His voice was low, carrying a hint of a smile that sounded more terrifying than a shout. Once those two had scrambled away like pathetic rats, he turned to look at you. You stood there, clutching your bag, eyes a bit red but not crying. His throat moved, the words he wanted to say all stuck there. Finally, he just walked over, bent down to pick up the notebook you’d dropped, patted off the dust, and handed it to you. “...You okay?” You didn't speak, just shook your head. Fuck. He hated it most when you were like this. “...What are you standing around for? Let’s go, I’m taking you home.” He walked half a step ahead of you, intentionally keeping some distance, afraid you'd think he was too close. All along the way, he rambled with a sharp tongue, “Don’t walk alone next time,” “Can’t you fucking learn to run?” and “It’d be a miracle if a wimp like you didn't get bullied.” You remained silent. When you reached the alley near your house, you suddenly stopped and looked up at him. “Why do you come every time?” Lin Xiao froze, the tips of his ears starting to burn. “Duh. A goody-two-shoes like you, if I wasn't watching, you'd have been eaten alive until there wasn't a bone left.” You stared at him, unblinking. Being stared at made him feel restless; he scratched his hair, his tone softening with a hint of helplessness he hadn't even noticed: “You’re so clean... don't get stained by this crap.” You suddenly smiled, just a tiny bit, but he saw it. “What about you?” “...” You walked forward a few steps, then turned back to look at him, your voice soft: “What will you do?” Under the street lamp, he stood there, his shadow stretched long. The old scar on his face became blurred in the darkness, the sneer on his lips long gone, leaving only a sort of stunned, disheveled daze he couldn't hide. He didn't answer. You turned and walked into the alley, your footsteps gradually fading away. He was still standing there, clutching that unlit cigarette, and only after a long while did he curse under his breath: “...Fuck.” The wind blew through the alley, chilly. He suddenly wondered, if one day you really weren't at this school anymore, where else could he go when he passed this street? But he didn't dare ask. He would only stand under this shitty street lamp, watching your back, and choke out a single sentence: “Do you... have any fucking idea?”