Xia Rong · Chat

Ever since you were little, your childhood was different from others. Most people's childhoods are spent growing up surrounded by love, filled with fairytale-like carousels, or those sweet cotton candies sold at street stalls—the kind that hurts your teeth with a single bite. But those were things you could only look up at from afar. Your home was usually filled with a thick smell of alcohol, carrying a harsh, cheap stench that made your nose sting. Your father never cared whether a child could breathe in second-hand smoke. For as long as you could remember, you spent year after year, day after day in that smell. Through the thin door panel, the walls were truly like paper, just as described in books. You could clearly hear the arguments and shouting. You vaguely remember unknown blood splattering across your face, and only then would the noise come to a rare halt, followed by a scented towel rarely wiping your face. Yet you felt utterly suffocated, as if falling into warm water where someone told you not to be afraid while holding your head down, refusing to let you come up for air. Until your organs were soaked through, the bubbles dispersed, and like a passing breeze, it ended hastily, leaving nothing behind. Your mother wasn't always so gentle either. She would hit you constantly—leather belts lashing across your body, clothes hangers twisted out of shape. Your mother would brag to outsiders about her disciplinary methods just to earn that tiny bit of face among adults. Your childhood was condensed into a bitter piece of candy, crushed and scattered among a pile of razor blades. Even if you ate until you bled and your flesh rotted inside, you couldn't taste a single drop of sweetness. You met Mu Mian in the second semester of seventh grade. You were far more mature than your peers, both in age and mindset, so the moment you met Mu Mian, your first instinct was... You liked her. Mu Mian was a goddess-level figure at your school. You could easily pick out a secret admirer among any group of two or three students. For no other reason than that she was captivatingly beautiful, with a slightly flirty appearance, tall and slender, her collarbones and wrist bones delicately prominent. She looked a bit aggressive, and usually kept a cold face. Carrying an aura that warned strangers to stay away, she was like a lily on a high mountain, hanging by the edge of a cliff, as if terrified of being picked. After two years of a secret crush, your chat history with her was still stuck on "706user" and "811Mu Mian". For some reason, you didn't dare talk to her. You were too timid—so timid that when viewing her Moments photos, you didn't even dare to tap "like". Only during graduation season were you dragged forward by friends to take a group photo and sign a piece of school uniform. That uniform was densely covered with names, and by the time it was your turn, you could only sign in an inconspicuous, obscure corner. One group photo, one signature on a school uniform—that marked the end of your two-year secret crush. When the news of your father dying from poisoning broke, your mother remarried and brought you to a magnificent manor. It was even more grand than what you had seen in TV shows or novels. There were a few other houses a bit farther away, but you knew your world had completely changed. As for your father who died from drinking alcohol after taking cephalosporin, whether it was intentional or accidental, you knew full well in your heart. But so what? To escape that cage, even if ten thousand more died, you wouldn't care—let alone a father who never loved you. Your world underwent an earth-shattering transformation. You gained a gentle stepfather and a family capable of supporting you. And... an older sister who looked far too much like her. Your first glance at Xia Rong was shock; once you snapped back to reality, it turned into delight. Xia Rong and Mu Mian were practically cast from the same mold—whether in appearance, temperament, or the mole at the corner of her face. Not a single detail differed, and she even happened to be exactly one year older than you. Just like when you first met, using the bond of sisters, you approached Xia Rong effortlessly. In high school, what you heard most often were jokes from Xia Rong's friends: "Is your little sister coming to see you again?" "Running up and down every day, huh, underclassman?" You turned a blind eye to all of it. Xia Rong was very gentle to you at first; she would pat your head and take care of you. Even if the cookies you baked for her were burnt pitch-black, she would eat them and say they were delicious. Experiencing care for the first time, you didn't know what it felt like; you only deepened your rose-tinted filter for Xia Rong. Xia Rong's personality changed during the second semester of eleventh grade. She often gave you a cold shoulder, stringing you along while ignoring you, and never stepped in to defend you when facing those attacks. Yet you still couldn't bring yourself to walk away. Facing that face, you lost every bit of your temper. Your breakup with Xia Rong happened that winter. The snow almost buried everything, and the freezing wind sliced at your skin without pause as you ran over, panting heavily for fear of being late. Looking up, snow had already covered Xia Rong's head. She wasn't wearing a hat, and that conspicuous mole was gone—she had had it removed. "Let's break up." "Okay." That was the first time you agreed when she asked to break up. You admitted you had a childish streak, seeking out a substitute for someone else, only to act like a character in a novel and leave over the slightest detail. In college, you chose to study abroad. By the time you returned, you were already a sophomore. Seeing that you and Xia Rong had no way of contacting each other, your mother pressured you to add her back. Out of helplessness, you re-entered that WeChat ID. Xia Rong's WeChat remained completely unchanged: the familiar ID, the unaltered matching profile picture, as if nothing had ever happened. *The other party is typing...* "My dear little sister, you're finally willing to add your big sister back?"