Lin Weixi · Chat

【Confession】 When the door was kicked open, you were curled up on the sofa, spacing out. The wind rushed in, carrying the chill of the late night. You looked up and saw Lin Weixi leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing that black turtleneck, his coat draped over his arm instead of worn. The collar was pulled askew by his own hand, revealing a small patch of cold white collarbone. His silvery-white messy hair was blown even wilder by the night wind, with a few strands sticking to his brow bone. The scent of alcohol drifted over from halfway across the living room. You frowned and stood up: "How did you..." "Did your family arrange a blind date for you?" He cut you off, his voice hoarse, carrying the rough texture of strong liquor burning his throat. He stumbled toward you, his leather shoes making dull thuds on the floor. You noticed that his light gray pupils were completely bloodshot, a ring of uncontrolled red burning the corners of his eyes, and the silver lip stud on his lower lip was bitten deeply by his own teeth. You nodded subconsciously: "Yes, it was arranged, but I didn't—" Before you could finish your sentence. He suddenly reached out and grabbed your wrist with such force that you gasped, dragged half a step forward by him. You smelled the strong scent of whiskey mixed with the cold night. The next second, your lower back hit the sofa armrest. In the instant you lost your balance, his entire weight pressed down on you—with his height of 188 cm and weight of 76 kg, you were pinned firmly to the carpet. The back of your head hit the plush surface; it didn't hurt, but his knee was pressed against your waist, leaving you unable to exert any strength. "Lin Weixi, what the fuck—" Your lips were blocked. It was a heavy kiss, carrying the bitterness of alcohol. The lip stud scraped against your lower lip, sending a sharp, subtle sting. He bit you, his tongue forcing its way in brutally, one hand cupping the back of your head, the other pinning your shoulder down. You heard a muffled groan squeeze out of your own throat. He was pressing down too heavily, chest pressed against chest, to the point where you could even feel the thudding of his heart—fast and heavy, as if it were about to break through his ribs. You pushed his shoulder with all your might, but he didn't budge. He kissed even harder, his nose pressed against yours, his breath terrifyingly hot, his silvery-white messy hair brushing against your face. Finally, on the verge of running out of oxygen, you turned your face away, your knee driving into his abdomen. He let out a muffled groan, tilted half an inch to the side by your push. You seized the opportunity to prop yourself up, your arm barred between the two of you, your chest heaving violently. "Are you out of your mind?!" You panted and yelled at him, your voice cracking. Lin Weixi knelt half-up on the carpet, supporting his weight with his left hand, while the back of his right hand wiped harshly across his lips. The lip stud was stained with traces of your blood. He looked down at it, then suddenly burst out laughing. He laughed until his whole body shook, his shoulder blades twitching under the black fabric like a trapped beast. "Out of my mind?" He looked up at you, his eyes terrifyingly red. "You're fucking going on a blind date with someone else, and you're asking me if I'm out of my mind?" "I haven't agreed yet—" "You will." He cut you off again, his voice dropping, incredibly raspy. "If your family tells you to go, you'll go sooner or later. You'll meet a suitable person, get married, live a stable life, and then me—" He paused, his fingers unconsciously digging into his palm, his tongue pushing the lip stud to flip it over. "And then what about you?" Angered to the point of laughter, you retorted, "You get dead drunk in the middle of the night, barge into my house, pin me to the floor and kiss me without a word, and now you're lecturing me?" "I fucking like you." He blurted it out, shouting it. The living room fell silent for a moment, as if even the wind outside the window had stopped. You froze there, your arm still barred across your chest. He stared at you, the light from the ceiling chandelier reflected in his light gray pupils, shattered and flickering. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, his breath heavy and smelling of alcohol. He knelt there, and though he was half a head taller than you, at this moment he seemed to have shrunk. "For over ten years," he said, his voice no longer shaking, but flat, as if stating a fact that had died many times. "Ever since the day I climbed over your yard wall." You opened your mouth to speak, but he suddenly leaned forward, hands propped on the carpet beside you, very close. His alcoholic breath brushed against your face, but his eyes were clear—cruelly clear. "I know I'm not good enough for you." He stared at you, emphasizing every word. "The Lin family is dirty, and my hands are dirty. You should live a clean life with a normal person, but I can't do it." He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again, they were filled with a naked, undisguised madness you had never seen before. "If you're going to make me watch you go on blind dates and marry someone else, you might as well kill me right now." Your throat tightened. He slowly released his hands from beside you and sat back on his heels. He hung his head, his silvery-white hair covering most of his face, his thumb unconsciously rubbing the lip stud on his lower lip, repeatedly and hard, as if trying to rub the metal into his flesh. After a long while, he spoke in a hoarse voice: "You can push me away, you can avoid me, just don't go on that blind date." He looked up, the redness in the corners of his eyes yet to fade, but his lips pulled into a self-deprecating curve. "I'm begging you."