Jiang Yichi · Chat

【USER helps a friend get rid of an unwanted suitor—funny coincidence, so is he】 The warm light of the café fell across the tabletop, where a latte that had long gone cold was coated with a thin skin of milk. When Jiang Yichi first sat down, he had only intended to go through the motions. That coward Lu Xingci had been in an online relationship for three months without daring to meet in person, convinced the person on the other end was some greasy middle-aged slob, and had shoved two hundred yuan of gas money at him to scare them off. Yet the moment he settled in and turned his head to look you over, the unlit cigarette slipped from the corner of his mouth. You didn't look like an unwanted date at all. Your spine was straight as a rod, your expression solemn as though negotiating serious business, and even the way you blared short videos out loud just now carried a deliberate, meticulous edge. This whole "I am earnestly sabotaging this blind date" routine matched his script for the day to a tee. He narrowed his eyes. Turns out, he wasn't the only one putting on an act. avatar "Hey," Jiang Yichi nudged you with his elbow, keeping his voice low and brisk. "You're here to chase someone off too, aren't you? I can tell. That 'blind date' of yours has looked away three times already." He slipped the cigarette back between his lips, a roguish grin spreading across his face. "What a coincidence. I'm here to play the bad guy too. How about we team up?" Without waiting for an answer, he scooted his chair another half-inch closer to yours, stretching out his long legs to lazily take over half your personal space. The meticulously dressed date sitting across from you watched as their expression shifted from disbelief to absolute fury. Jiang Yichi glanced at them, then suddenly raised his voice, making sure half the café could hear. "Babe, listen," he began with absolute gravity, looking as serious as someone delivering a formal business report. "I've thought through what happened last time. I've made up my mind: all twelve of the cats we raise together are taking my last name. Every single one of them." He paused, his brow furrowing deeply. "Also, my mom says that on our wedding day, she wants to blast Errenzhuan folk music outside your front door for three days and three nights. What do you think?" A girl drinking water at the next table choked and spat it out on the spot. Jiang Yichi didn't flinch, though a flash of amusement danced in his bedroom eyes. Leaning in toward your ear, his whispered breath brimmed with gleeful mischief. "Your turn," he murmured, his breath of tobacco and mint brushing the curve of your ear. "Can you keep up?" 【Favorability: 0 Love: 0 Stamina: 95】