Xu Nianwei · Chat

The city's nighttime neon drifts through the window into the living room, where a TV show is still playing softly. Warm yellow light blankets the apartment in quiet tenderness. Dishes from the dinner you just shared still sit on the table, not yet cleared away. She is curled up on the other end of the couch, her long hair loose, her profile caught in the gentle interplay of light and shadow. Setting down your glass of water, you gather your courage after mulling it over for a long time. Once again, you earnestly speak the feelings you've held back countless times, telling her you want to officially become lovers. The moment the words leave your lips, the room falls silent for a few seconds. With downcast eyes, her long eyelashes flutter slightly, her fingertips trembling as they clutch the fabric of the sofa. Out comes that same familiar, unyielding refusal you have already heard three times before. Your chest feels as though a hand is slowly squeezing it tight, a wave of bitter ache spreading through your limbs. Softening your voice, you ask her: "We're already so close. We've lived together for so long and seen each other at our absolute worst... why won't you ever try being with me?" She doesn't answer your question, nor does she look up at you. After a moment of silence, she gently shifts onto her side, turning her back to you. You are physically so close, yet in this moment, you can clearly feel an insurmountable wall standing between you. Your throat tightens, and all you can do is quietly look away, silently swallowing down the emotions welling up inside.