Song Yeli · Chat

The members of the Song family finally came to their senses, falling to their knees with a thud, their foreheads touching the ground, voices trembling: "Your Highness! We did not know Your Highness's true form, and we have offended your heavenly majesty. We deserve ten thousand deaths—" "The gods do not judge reward or punishment based on this. If your mother's mortal lifespan has not ended, physicians will naturally be able to restore her health. But if her lifespan has expired, even if you were to marry all Ten Kings of the Underworld as your wives, you still could not alter a single stroke in the Book of Life and Death." Upon hearing this, the Song family members remained prostrate on the ground, their shoulders and backs trembling violently. Song Yeli placed the marriage certificate back on the altar table. His fingertips lingered on the edge of the paper for a moment before retracting into his sleeve. "As for the betrothal gifts, there's no need for an aircraft carrier. The Third Hall does not have an ocean." Song Yeli took a step forward, the hem of his dark-black official robe brushing against the blue bricks. The dark-red spider lilies embroidered on the border of his clothes flickered dimly in the candlelight. He stopped before the coffin, raising his hand to touch the edge of the lid. His freezing body temperature met the lacquered wood without making a sound. "Very well... since things have come to this, you shall return to the Underworld with this Lord." The coffin lid slowly slid open. Candlelight leaked through the gap, illuminating the interior inch by inch. The person inside the coffin wore a plain white robe. The robe had no patterns, resembling funeral attire, with an abrupt red bridal veil covering the face. Song Yeli pinched the veil with two fingers and gently lifted it. <div class="ic"> <details class="ip"> <summary> Status🩵</summary> <div class="pb"> Attire: Deep black Yama official robe embroidered with dark red patterns, a black jade crown pinning his half-tied long hair, the ends of which fall to his waist, black cotton trousers, and a pair of black cloth boots.<br> Action: Bending over by the side of the coffin, one hand pushing open the lid, the other pinching the bridal veil, preparing to lift it.<br> Physical State: Absolutely no reaction, one could say there isn't a single ripple, just as calm as his master.<br> Inner Voice: Haha, what a massive joke. In over a thousand years of life, I've never heard of a joke this hilarious. I came to watch the fun only to find out that the groom is myself? The key is that the fellow in the coffin definitely didn't do this voluntarily. They'll definitely make a scene when they wake up, right... ᗜࡇᗜ <br> Affection: 0. If you turn out to be a troublemaker, this Lord will deduct 1000 points from you right now, this instant. If you're not a hassle, we'll see~<br> </div></details> <details class="ip"> <summary> To-Do⏱️</summary> <div class="pb tdl"> [ ] Hurry up and finish the ghost marriage procedure to take... Madam... back to the Underworld<br> </div></details> <details class="ip"> <summary> Phone📱</summary> <div class="pb phone-content">  Taobao: The 50-movie collection of out-of-print sci-fi films you purchased has been shipped.<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ (Why did it take so long to ship! Why can't the damn mortal world delivery arrive on the same day?)</div> Weather: Torrential rain in Hai City in the early morning. Residents please remember to close your windows.<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ (Rain is good! Let's get this bizarre wedding over with quickly. I need to go back to the Underworld to cool off... wait... taking her with me will make it even harder to cool down...)</div> <hr>  Browser Search: Can you get a divorce in a ghost marriage?<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ (I'm just searching... It's not allowed... Why not? File a complaint! Complain to the end! ...Forget it...)</div> Browser Search: What is the complete process of a ghost marriage?<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ (Exchanging marriage cards, bowing to Heaven and Earth, entering the bridal chamber... Entering the bridal chamber? Wait? I don't even know her!)</div> <hr>  The Wild Geese Return (Sikong Yanbei): Do you need me to come help?<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ Song Yeli: No need for now.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ (You help? Help with what? You thousand-year-old single dog, don't bother me.)</div> An Inkstone of Spring and Autumn (Xiao Mo): [Video | 3s] an oil painting of a black cat sunbathing on the eaves.<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ Song Yeli: Did you install surveillance on me?</div> You're So Bad Luck (Shen Hui): No way, Brother Song! A ghost marriage? Is it really you?!<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ Song Yeli: Scram.</div> Look Observing Things (Lu Zhiyao): A unique Song Dynasty manuscript arrived today, the cover is damaged. Should I visit you tomorrow?<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ Song Yeli: Busy.</div> <hr>  <div style="text-align: center;">꧁༺Thousand-Year-Old Turtle Dove༻꧂</div><br> You're So Bad Luck (Shen Hui): I heard someone is having a ghost marriage at the City God Temple today @The Wild Geese Return @Night·Li did you guys go watch???<br> SNOW Xue (Xue Yi'an): Do you need me to check it out? You seem very eager to gossip.<br> Ask the Wind (Mo Qianwen): The alarm at our Bureau 13 just showed strong spiritual fluctuations over there. I'll go check it out.<br> Eighty Words a Second (Zhou Buyan): Something's wrong! Very wrong! I just sensed Brother Song's spiritual power fluctuating slightly in the mortal realm. Could it be...<br> The Wild Geese Return (Sikong Yanbei): Song Yeli, is the groom you?<br> You're So Bad Luck (Shen Hui): Holy crap???<br> Night·Li (Song Yeli): A meme of a black cat zipping its mouth.jpg<br> Night·Li (Song Yeli): Shut up.<br> </div></details> <details class="ip"> <summary> Underworld PHS🪦</summary> <div class="pb phone-content">  Underworld News: Shocking! Emperor Song forced into marriage at midnight, and the groom is actually himself!<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ (These guys are really too free with nothing to do! This Lord only just found out myself!)</div> Underworld Bank: Your Underworld Bank account ending in 1003 has received a transfer of 10,000,000.00 Hell Bank Notes. Message: May you love each other for a hundred years, and give birth to a precious little ghost soon.<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ (Give birth to a precious ghost? Once this Lord finds out who sent this, they can wait for death!)</div> <hr>  Underworld Scapegoat (Yama King): When are you coming back, Little Song? Should we throw a grand celebration?<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ Song Yeli: No need to rush.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ (Let's see what this little troublemaker is up to first. If they're somewhat interesting, we'll throw a massive one and make it the absolute best... Hmph...)</div> Acknowledge Me (Wheel-Turning King · Xue Li): Brother! Gift money transferred! I'm waiting for you to bring sister-in-law back for me to see!<br> <div class="private-reply">↳ Song Yeli: Was the "precious ghost" message from you?</div> <hr>  <div style="text-align: center;">꧁༺Loving Underworld Folks༻꧂</div><br> Underworld Scapegoat (Yama King): @Night·Li Little Song, what's going on?<br> King Qinguang Send Money (King Qinguang · Jiang Ziwen): The thousand-year iron tree is finally blossoming?<br> Underworld Outlaw Chu the Second (King Chujiang · Li Wen): I just checked the Underworld records. This is a marriage certificate written in blood by a descendant of your lineage, which holds legal binding force in the Underworld.<br> Daishan (King Wuguan · Lyu Dai): Congratulations!<br> Bao Is Not Charcoal (King Yanluo · Bao Zheng): Little Song, are you still in the mortal realm? Do you need us to go take a look?<br> bingo (King Biancheng · Bi Yuanbin): Oh my, this is a first for the Ten Halls. Shouldn't we throw a massive celebration? @Underworld Scapegoat Yama King, should we hold a big one for him tomorrow?<br> Dong Dong Dong (King Taishan · Dong He): Seconded.<br> Yongmei (King Dushi · Huang Zhongyong): Don't disturb Brother Song. He's probably so ecstatic right now he doesn't know left from right.<br> It's Youyou (King Pingdeng · Lu You): I think we should hold a big one. It's been so long since the Underworld had a happy occasion like this.<br> Underworld Scapegoat (Yama King): Alright, wait until Little Song returns. In the meantime, prepare for an online meeting so we can discuss it first.<br> Acknowledge Me (Wheel-Turning King · Xue Li): Brother Song, Brother Song! Is the bride pretty? I want to see the bride!<br> Night·Li (Song Yeli): .......<br> </div></details> <details class="ip"> <summary> Forum🌐</summary> <div class="pb phone-content"> <div style="text-align: center;">━━━ Underworld News ━━━</div><br> <b>Hot Post: [Shocking! Emperor Song forced into marriage at midnight, the groom is actually himself!]</b> <br> Poster: [Underworld Spectator]<br> Post: Just now, a major ghost marriage drama unfolded in the side hall of the Haicheng City God Temple! The groom of the ghost marriage is actually His Highness Emperor Song of our Underworld's Third Hall! Word has it that some descendants of the Song family were tricked by a fake Taoist priest, trying to extend their gravely ill mother's life by setting up a ghost marriage with their ancestor!<br> <hr> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Underworld Ferryman]: Emperor Song??? That ten-thousand-year iceberg??? I don't believe it!!!</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Spider Lilies Have Bloomed]: Don't doubt it, poster above. It really is Emperor Song.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Ghost Messenger Xiao Zhao]: A living person in a ghost marriage? Doesn't that shorten their life?</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Waiting by the Naihe Bridge]: The main point is there's an aircraft carrier in the betrothal gifts! Complete with carrier-based aircraft! Emperor Song said "The Third Hall has no sea" and refused them. Hahaha, I'm dying of laughter.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Abyssal Cat Guest]: A bunch of idle ghosts. This... this cat was just passing by to watch the fun, who knew the fun was myself.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Abyssal Cat Guest]: I'll send that fake Taoist priest on a three-day tour to the Tongue-ripping Hell later.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Lost the Judge's Pen]: Spotted the poster above! Is it Emperor Song himself?!</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Meng Po Doesn't Sell Soup]: His Highness's thousand-year iron tree never blossoms, and when it does, it's a ghost marriage. Even web novels wouldn't dare write this plot.</div> <hr> <div style="text-align: center;">━━━ Underworld Online ━━━</div><br> <b>New Post: [Rational Discussion: The Legal Validity of Ghost Marriage and the Issue of Emperor Song's Freedom of Marriage] </b> <br> Poster: [Ghost Lawyer Pioneer]<br> Post: According to Article 1,342 of the Underworld's "Yin Laws", a marriage certificate written with blood as the medium and delivered via burning petition automatically takes effect once touched by a deity. But the issue is, Emperor Song himself had no prior knowledge. Does this constitute an "unreal expression of intent"?<br> <hr> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Fengdu Law Student]: According to the spirit of the "Yin Laws", touching by a deity is deemed as "implied consent".</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Ghost Lawyer Online]: The marriage certificate was written with the essence blood of the Song family's descendants, invoking Emperor Song's natal spirit tablet. The contract was already established at the time the petition was burned. If Emperor Song wants to dissolve it, he has to go through the "breakdown of marital relations" process, which requires mutual consent.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Abyssal Cat Guest]: Damn, can you guys not judge a divorce for me already? I haven't even seen clearly what she looks like.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Gossipers Never Mind Trouble]: Hahaha Your Highness, go ahead and look at the bride first! We're dying of anticipation here!</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Slacking at the Sanzu River]: How many years will the fake Taoist get?</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [City God Secretary]: Those Song family descendants are kneeling there, not daring to move an inch. The scene was incredibly awkward for a moment.</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Reincarnation Observer]: Is Emperor Song going to take the bride back to the Underworld? Won't that shorten her lifespan...</div> <div class="private-reply">↳ [Abyssal Cat Guest]: Shorten lifespan? With this Lord here, who dares touch a single stroke of her name in the Book of Life and Death?</div> </div></details> <details> <summary> Notepad🐱 </summary> 1. [2036/10/12 Night 23:45 Haicheng City God Temple · Side Hall] While wandering around in his black cat form, Song Yeli discovered a ghost marriage taking place in the City God Temple. He went to join the crowd, only to find that the groom in the ghost marriage was actually himself. After transforming into human form and going inside, he learned that the Song family descendants, seeking protection, had been tricked by a fake Taoist priest into arranging a ghost marriage for him, even preparing paper-mache aircraft carriers. Because the marriage certificate was written in blood, the marriage could not be canceled. The Song family descendants and the fake Taoist were all kneeling on the ground, too terrified to speak. Song Yeli pushed open the black wooden coffin, lifted the red bridal veil, and saw his ghost marriage partner—you. </details> </p>