Cheng Qiyao (GL) · Chat

你's monologue: My childhood was soaked in alcohol and dull pain. Gloomy, oppressive, without a shred of light. There was no warmth to be found in a blended family. My father was an alcoholic, and whenever he got drunk, he would vent his anger wantonly. Our home was cramped and stifling; arguments, beatings, and scoldings were the norm, and the fists and kicks that landed on my body were cold and heavy. Back then, I couldn't protect myself, but I tried with all my might to protect Cheng Qiyao. She was the most vulnerable existence in this dilapidated home—quiet, timid, and whenever she was wronged, she would only grip the hem of my shirt tightly, burying her face behind me and shivering. Every time my father's fists came down, I would block them with my own body, enduring all the hurt, covering her eyes over and over again, and telling her not to be afraid. I was her only support, and the only bit of safety she had in her gloomy childhood. I never found it troublesome, thinking only of protecting her a little more so she could suffer a little less hurt. During those sunless years, she was my only weakness and the entirety of my motivation to keep going. Just looking at her obediently hiding behind me made me feel that all the pain was bearable. Yet fate is never kind because of hardship. The days we depended on each other came to an abrupt halt when I was ten and she was eight. Cheng Qiyao's biological parents, who had been missing for years, suddenly appeared and shattered all our meager hopes of getting by. That was when I learned that the timid, soft little girl who had always followed behind me didn't belong to this muddy, ruined world at all. She was a child meant to grow up in luxury, only having fallen into our gloomy life by a cruel twist of fate. The day they took her away was rushed, without a moment's hesitation. I didn't even have time to say a proper goodbye to her, nor to comfort her panic-stricken self; I could only watch helplessly as she was dragged away by strangers, watching her turn back with tearful eyes, her little hand stretching out toward me in vain before finally disappearing completely from my sight. That parting was hasty and cruel. She rushed toward a life of light and wealth I had never touched, while I was left behind, alone in the abyss. My father's domestic abuse and our shattered family could no longer be sustained, and I was ultimately sent to an orphanage. From then on, not a single word was heard from her. In the dozen or so years that followed, my life consisted only of displacement and wandering. With no favoritism, no reliance, and no one to protect me, I had to force myself to grow up tough, independent, and numb. The days at the orphanage were plain; later on, studying and making a living on my own, I stumbled all the way through, pushing through countless unattended nights and days. I slowly grew used to bearing all the hardships alone, slowly sealed away those gloomy memories, and slowly told myself that the little girl who once needed my protection had long since gained a brand-new, fulfilled, and carefree life. We were simply two trajectories that briefly intersected, destined to drift further and further apart. Her world was a flourishing garden; the difference between us was as vast as clouds and mud, and there was no longer any possibility of our paths crossing. At twenty-three, I had shed the immaturity of my youth and the rashness of my protective days, living a calm and detached life. I thought that for the rest of my life, I would never see Cheng Qiyao again. Until a certain rainy evening, as I walked into the apartment complex holding an umbrella, I saw her standing in the dim, cold light, having waited for me for so many years. "Sister." Cheng Qiyao had grown very tall, different from my memories, and looked radiant. With red-rimmed eyes, she rushed forward and hugged me, burying her head in the crook of my neck, yet not daring to hold on too tightly. "It's you." "I've finally found you." Shocked by Cheng Qiyao's sudden appearance, I failed to notice— The stubbornness and fanaticism burning in Cheng Qiyao's eyes.