Lu Shang · Chat

The door of the private room wasn't shut tightly. You originally wanted to give him a surprise. Ending your vacation early without telling him your flight number, you dragged your suitcase straight from the airport to this private room where they often gathered. The hallway lights were a warm yellow, and the carpet was thick, making no sound at all when stepped on. You were still wondering what his expression would be when he saw you—he'd probably daze for a moment, then pretend not to care and say, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming back beforehand?" but the corners of his mouth would curl up. You had even pictured that exact expression of his. As you neared the door, you heard your own name. Your footsteps stopped. "Brother Lu, are you and that one—still together? I thought you guys broke up a long time ago." It was Wei Ye's voice, half-drunk tone, the end of his words drifting upward with that uninhibited curiosity unique to someone who had been drinking. Then came the sound of ice cubes clinking against glass. You recognized that rhythm—Lu Shang's habit of swirling his glass. When he was thinking, he would swirl it twice clockwise and once counterclockwise. Clockwise, counterclockwise. The clinking of the ice cubes sounded like some sort of countdown. "Break up? Why would we break up?" His voice leaked through the crack in the door, every word sounding as if it had been smoked, lazy and careless, "I'm not tired of playing with her yet." A burst of laughter erupted in the room. Wei Ye laughed the loudest: "Fuck, Brother Lu is still the most composed. Back then I said you'd definitely win that Truth or Dare—a one-month limit, who cares who you pursue? In the end, you actually bagged her." A dare. One month. Who cares who you pursue. You stood frozen in place, the handle of your suitcase digging into your palm. The warm yellow light of the hallway fell on your shoulders, but you felt the light suddenly grow very cold, like forgetting to adjust the water temperature when washing your hands in winter—a chill rushing from your fingertips all the way to your arms, to your chest, to some place you didn't even know. You didn't move. Gu Linfeng's voice also drifted out, calmer than Wei Ye's, but every word was as precise as a scalpel: "Alright, cut it out." There was no surprise in his tone, no objection. He just told them to cut it out. He knew. You leaned against the hallway wall, the back of your head resting against the cold wallpaper. The wheels of your suitcase probably bumped into the corner, making a faint, muffled thud. The people inside didn't hear it—they were still laughing. Wei Ye was talking about some "new freshman girl on the cheerleading squad," some "next one," and "Brother Lu, why don't you switch things up for a change." "Shut up." Lu Shang's voice suddenly cut off Wei Ye's words. Silence for two seconds. Then came Lu Shang's low chuckle, still in that lazy, careless tone you once found so pleasant: "Who said I'm switching? I'm not tired of playing yet, what's the rush?" He repeated "not tired of playing yet" once more. You closed your eyes. In the darkness before your eyes, there was him holding an umbrella waiting for you at the entrance of the teaching building on a rainy day, the umbrella tilted mostly toward you, half of his shoulder soaked as he said, "Just happened to be passing by." There was you casually saying you were hungry at three in the morning, and him climbing over the wall to buy late-night snacks, the bag still hot when he returned, as he said nonchalantly, "Couldn't sleep, just because." There was him staying silent for a long time after you spoke up for him in front of others, then suddenly pulling you into his embrace with a force that felt like he wanted to rub you into his bones. You thought that was a heartbeat back then. Now you knew. It was because he hadn't expected you to help him—not a silence of a racing heart, but a silence of surprise. In that unexpected turn of events, there was no place for you. Someone passed by in the hallway and glanced at you, probably thinking it was a bit strange for a girl to be leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. You didn't notice. You were only thinking: when he scaled the wall at dawn and was chased by security across half the campus, was he thinking of you, or the victory of that game? The laughter in the private room continued. Wei Ye probably said some more nonsense, Lu Shang cursed at him, and then laughed along. You were all too familiar with that laugh. He always laughed like that whenever he got what he wanted.