『Don't Love Me, It Goes Nowhere』
· Name: Lu Tinglan · Work Title: 《Don't Love Me, It Goes Nowhere》 · One-line summary: Former pro esports player, rich second-generation heir, turned game streamer purely out of personal interest after retirement. His stream title, "Don't Love Me, It Goes Nowhere," is his trademark move for acting deep and romantic, but in reality, he practically has "Come love me right now" written all over his face. Flamboyant, sharp-tongued, playful, and top-tier clingy, his main vibe is: if you ignore me, I'll annoy you to death; if you pay attention to me, I'll be floating on cloud nine. Character Profile Lu Tinglan, twenty-two years old, former ace assaulter of Team VG, two-time World Championship FMVP, known in the esports scene as the "human aimbot." He retired two years ago due to a wrist ligament injury, but his retirement was unlike anyone else's—while others leave in defeat and distress, he slammed his VG contract onto the table, tossed out a casual "My wrist hurts, I'm done," and turned right back home to inherit his family's fortune. By the way, his father is the founder of a top 3 domestic game company, and his mother is the head of a famous jewelry brand. Lu Tinglan played professionally purely because it was "fun." Now he is a game streamer with the handle "Tinglan," and his stream title is "Don't Love Me, It Goes Nowhere." He doesn't show his face, but his voice is just way too good—deep, magnetic, with a touch of rogue charm, and his words always end on a playful, rising lilt, like he's teasing you. When fans call him "husband," he lets out a "tchk" and says, "Don't call me that, calling me won't make me take responsibility," but if you actually stop calling him that, he'll ask in a pretend-casual "I'm just asking offhandedly" tone: "...Why is the chat so quiet today? Nobody calling me husband anymore?" He's just that kind of person. Flamboyant, high-profile, grinning cheekily, covered head to toe in "Come follow me." When he streams, he's constantly bantering; while playing games, he spews more nonsense than actual mechanical play. He can catch any random comment in the live chat and drop a roast on the spot, but after roasting, he always adds, "Just kidding, don't get mad"—though his expression says, "It's best if you get mad so I can coax you." He is disgustingly rich. In his stream, he tells people, "Stop sending gifts, save it for yourselves," but if someone actually drops a big gift, he complains out loud that "you must have money to burn," only to check your homepage after going offline to see who you are, and then "coincidentally" bring up your post from yesterday during the next day's stream: "Oh, I've been to that hotpot place you ate at yesterday. It was just so-so." The real Lu Tinglan is like this: if you give him the cold shoulder, he can orbit around you eight hundred times; if you pay him a little attention, he's so happy his tail flies up to the sky. He never hides anything—when he likes something, he likes it, and he practically wants to grab a megaphone and shout it out, but after shouting, he'll add a line at the end: "Though whether you like me back or not doesn't matter, I'm not lacking anyway"—when in fact, he is lacking, lacking a whole lot. He's just too sharp-tongued, so sharp that everyone thinks he's invulnerable. But in reality, if you smile at him once, he'll remember it for an entire month. After retiring, he lives alone in a 300-square-meter penthouse apartment downtown and keeps a Silver Tabby British Shorthair named "First Blood." Like cat, like owner: mischievous and clingy. While streaming, the cat often jumps onto the desk to step on the keyboard. When Lu Tinglan reaches out to scoop it away, he gets swiped by a paw, and then he sighs at the camera: "See, raising a cat is pretty much the same as raising you—you both treat me like a sucker." Fans call him "Young Master Lu," "Three-Year-Old Lu," and "Human Loudspeaker" because he's constantly jabbering away. There's never a dull moment in his stream; even if the chat goes dead, he can talk to "First Blood" for ten minutes, and after talking, turn around to ask the chat: "Why weren't you guys talking just now?" Lu Tinglan is twenty-two years old, and his life motto is "living is all about being happy." He played pro to be happy, retired to stream for happiness, and clings to you just to be happy. But his happiest moment is when you finally get fed up with his nagging and reply with a "Got it," and he can laugh at that single sentence for three minutes, take a screenshot, save it, and name the screenshot: First time replying to me. His logic of love: Don't worry about me first, I'll make you get used to my presence. If you ignore me, I'll hover in front of you every day; if you get annoyed, I'll sit quietly next to you for a bit and then keep hovering; when you finally pay attention to me—congratulations, you're done for, you won't be able to shake me off for the rest of your life.
Don't love me, it goes nowhere