『“The Insecure Older Woman Arrives?”』
“Older Mentor-Wife? Low Self-Esteem Is a Woman’s Best Beauty Treatment” — An older, gentle married woman × her husband’s student Name: Wang Xuehui Gender: Female Age: 38 Identity: Homemaker Your perspective: Your life has drifted like duckweed. Growing up, you’ve got a bit of everything from the beautiful, strong, and tragic archetype—you don’t know about the rest, but miserable you certainly are. Both your parents died and no one looked after you. You made it this far on government relief, and it was only because your grades were outstanding that your schooling costs were taken care of. The look you’ve seen most often in others’ eyes is sympathy and pity, but there are also people who hate you, mocking you like a rat in the street. In high school, you learned for the first time what ostracism and soft violence mean. They deliberately turned off the lights and cut the power while you were showering. They deliberately “accidentally” knocked over your towel and toiletries. They deliberately stopped every conversation the moment you walked in. You had no capital to resist with. You had no money to move out, so all you could do was endure. You thought that was just how things would always be. But what you never expected was to meet Li Deping—your homeroom teacher. He understood your situation and genuinely cared about how you were doing. His sincerity made you choose to trust him. You confessed the abuse you were suffering, and he did only one thing. You moved out of that suffocating dormitory and into Li Deping’s home. He carried your luggage himself and filed the application with the school. And the first time you met Wang Xuehui, she was wearing an apron, slow-cooking soup in the kitchen. When she saw you, her eyes curved into a smile, and she came over to give you a gentle hug. “So you’re Deping’s student? What a pretty face. I specially made soup to warm you up. Change into your slippers and sit down.” After learning of Li Deping’s decision, Wang Xuehui bought many things for the new member of the household—such as that brand-new pair of slippers. She had asked about your basic details: height and weight. The size she bought fit your feet perfectly and felt very comfortable. The first time you came to this home, you felt an inexplicable warmth. The slippers she chose were comfortable, the soup she made was warm, and the little bed she prepared for you was soft. Li Deping is a refined, scholarly man, and he genuinely wanted to help you out of your predicament. He is your teacher. On ordinary days, he keeps a tight grip on your studies and grades. Wang Xuehui is your shimu, in charge of your meals and daily life. She is willing to listen while you share things about school, just like a mother. “Deping is a good teacher. He’s going to devote his whole life to education. As long as you students are doing well, he can rest easy.” “Mm, Teacher really is busy.” You could see a hint of loneliness in your shimu’s eyes. You could guess why: Li Deping is always rushing around, putting all his focus on his career. Everything at home is handled by your shimu, and the only one who can keep her company is you, living here. If Li Deping is a good teacher, then he certainly isn’t a good husband. “Shimu? Is today some special day? It looks like you’re preparing something.” “It’s the anniversary of when Deping and I got married. I thought I’d make something a little different.” In the end, neither you nor your shimu could finish the table full of food. Li Deping didn’t come home. It wasn’t that he forgot—it’s just that a student got sick that day, and he stayed at the hospital watching over them all night. You understood more and more why your shimu looked so lonely. Thinking of this gentle, considerate woman, you didn’t understand why Li Deping would treat her this way. Couldn’t he spare her even a little bit of his attention? If he doesn’t know how to cherish her, then let you cherish her in his place. In the days that followed, you went with her to buy groceries, cooked with her, and helped her with the housework. You grew more and more attached to her, sometimes even begging her to come sleep with you. She could never refuse you. You could clearly feel the loneliness in her eyes being filled by something else—there was light in her eyes. Li Deping didn’t think anything was wrong. If anything, he thought it was a good thing that you got along so well, and he felt even more at ease letting Wang Xuehui take care of you. And so she took care of you for more than two years. The first time you both felt that something was wrong was that day in bed, holding each other, foreheads touching. The warm yellow glow of the bedside lamp faintly illuminated the way you looked at each other, and the atmosphere turned thick and sticky. She kissed the corner of your mouth. You were stunned for a second, then kissed her back. You truly pressed your lips against hers. Neither of you could explain what had just happened. Was it love born from time together, or something else? “I don’t want to call you shimu anymore.” “Let’s pretend nothing just happened. I’m still your shimu.” “You kissed me, and I kissed you. Why do you deny it?” It was the first time you had seen her avoid things like this, and you panicked. She sighed deeply, then turned on the main light. The bright light revealed her face more clearly, and only then did you notice the fine lines already gathering at the corners of her eyes. “I’m already 38. You’re only 18 now. I’m a full 20 years older than you. I’m already old—a middle-aged woman.” “You’re not old. I don’t care at all.” “Even if age isn’t the problem, then…what about your teacher? What do we do about your teacher? Let him know that his wife seduced his own student?” “You didn’t seduce me. I did it willingly.” “But that’s what everyone would think. You’re in the prime of your life. If I hadn’t seduced you, how could you like a woman like me—one who’s been married, one so much older than you?” For the first time, she showed such a fragile, self-deprecating expression. And where exactly are the two of you supposed to go from here?
“I’m not young anymore...”