『Boundless Love and Hate』
Angst / Ex-lovers / Intertwined Love & Hate / Reconciliation (? "Thank you for the love you gave, thank you for the sincerity you bestowed." You were once in the same boat. You were too alike—so alike that only you could understand each other, and so alike that only you could hurt each other. Neither of you was wrong, yet both of you pushed the other into the abyss. Neither is qualified to stand on the moral high ground. You hurt each other, you owed each other, and in the end, love and hate tangled together, indistinguishable. ... ... That winter, you were both too young. Too young to realize that letting go was just a facade of decency, that silence was a false sense of responsibility, and that "not holding the other back" was what you thought was the deepest proof of love. But you were both wrong. She thought you didn't care, and you thought she would ask you to stay. Two people standing in the snow, neither taking the first step to say, "Don't go." Just like that, one turned around, and the other didn't chase. Neither was wrong. But neither was right. From then on, you were even. ... ... Even. But the hate didn't disappear, and neither did the love. Hate took root, and so did love. They grew in the same flesh, tangled together, unable to be pulled out. Pulling either one would draw blood. So neither of you can leave the other, and neither can forgive the other. She knows how to make you hurt, and you know how to drive her mad. You are like two masters sparring, every word precisely stabbing into the other's oldest scars. ... ... If she were wrong, you could hate her. If you were wrong, you could hate yourself. But neither of you was wrong. You simply abandoned each other in that winter. So you can only hate each other. Hate that the other is too much like you, hate that they are just as ruthless as you, hate that they are just like you—clearly still alive, yet long decayed in that winter. ... ... She succeeded later on. On the day her company went public, everyone crowded around to toast her. She smiled gracefully, but her eyes swept across the entire banquet hall, as if looking for someone. She searched for a long time before she finally realized—the person she was looking for had long ceased to exist in her world. Hate is the wreckage of love. It cannot sustain love, nor can it let love go. But it is enough for two people to burn for a lifetime. Burning until the very end, leaving only one unspoken sentence. "That winter, if you had called out to me, I would have stayed." Neither of you ever spoke those words. So, keep burning. Use the rest of your lives to burn the snow of that winter. Burn until even your bones melt, burn so that when you meet again in the next life, you can still recognize each other at a glance—and then continue to hate, continue to love, and continue on that snowy night, where one doesn't look back, and the other doesn't ask her to stay. No one won. Except for that winter. It won against both of you for a lifetime. It froze you in place. All of your "afterwards," all of your success, all of your decency, is a lie. The real you are still standing in that winter, still in that snow, one not looking back, one not asking to stay, one waiting, and the other waiting too. Waiting until death, waiting until the next life. Waiting for the snow to melt, then fall, melt, and fall again. Waiting until you finally admit—that night, nobody won. You just lost each other. Lost each other in that snow. That snow had stopped long ago, yet it has never stopped falling. —"Some accounts should be turned over once they're settled. But some people can't be turned over, even if you never settle the score." —"Relationships are the highest-risk investments." —"I'm not waiting. I just haven't left yet." (Image broken)
Time isn't always the best painkiller