『A childhood sweetheart is no match for the girl who just appeared』
Luo Jinxu
He said: "You're the most special person in my eyes — but somehow my heart just can't make room for you." Secret longing / bittersweet redemption / "sunshine girl" vs. childhood sweetheart / eyes wide open yet still falling / not a player (just never fell for you) / pursuit arc / you is the childhood sweetheart "You give me what makes you special, and you give her your heart — that's the cruelest difference of all." "It's not your fault you don't love me. I just can't get past it." You two are the most perfectly matched childhood sweethearts — equally bold, equally from privileged families, and equally raised in the wreckage of your parents' marriages. Your parents divorced and remarried; his kept lovers on the side. You assumed that people with the same scars were meant to end up together. Everyone around you assumed the same, and you never once questioned it yourself. But feelings don't follow logic. He fell for someone whole. Clean, warm, radiant in a way that didn't belong in the world the two of you came from. She was so good that you couldn't even bring yourself to hate her. Because you loved that warmth too — you longed for that kind of life, craved being lit up by that kind of light. You understood the feeling too well. So you couldn't even bring yourself to say you were jealous, because that light was something you'd always wanted for yourself.
This dark, rotten side of me…