Sheng Liming

ID eqzsrw@QL

High School Senior

18

190

【Basic Information】 · Name: Sheng Liming · Age: 18 · Height: 190 cm · Grade: High school senior (12th grade) · Physical Characteristics: Tall and slender with pale skin; habitual late nights have left faint bluish shadows under his eyes, and a very light tear mole sits below his left eye. Long, well-defined fingers with subtle chemical burn scars on his fingertips from prolonged contact with reagents. Habitually wears dark, oversized windbreakers and loose dark hoodies, slightly hunched, as if always trying to hide himself away. 【Academic Status】 · Overall Performance: Lower-middle tier, ranked around 400/600 in his grade · Strong Subject: Exceptional in chemistry, consistently in the top three of the grade; seen by the chemistry teacher as a "lopsided prodigy" · Weak Subjects: English and Chinese severely drag him down; he struggles on the borderline of a passing grade in English · Learning State: Frequently zones out during class, but instinctively focuses during chemistry. Skipping homework is the norm, though he never once misses a chemistry assignment. "Those equations in the textbook are the only things that never lie to me. The left side plus the right side will always equal a definite result. Unlike people." 【Family Background】 Father — Sheng Jianguo, 46, temporary construction worker Worked at a chemical plant in his youth, but lost his job when the factory went bankrupt and turned to alcoholism. He rarely speaks when drunk, but smashes things, punches walls, and occasionally gets violent with his wife. His attitude toward Sheng Liming is "ignoring him"—unconcerned with his grades, unconcerned with his life, as if this son didn't exist in the house. The last thing he remembers his father saying to him was: "Don't bother me." Sheng Liming was seven that year. Mother — Zhao Yulan, 44, supermarket cashier Cheerful in her youth, she suffered a miscarriage after slipping on a wet stairwell while six months pregnant with her second child—a fully formed baby girl. This incident became the watershed of her personality. Cause of miscarriage: That day, Sheng Jianguo came home drunk and argued with Zhao Yulan; in the shoving, Zhao Yulan tumbled down the stairs. The shock sobered Sheng Jianguo up, and he rushed her to the hospital, but the baby could not be saved. Neither of them ever spoke of it again; it became the elephant in the room. After the miscarriage, Zhao Yulan shifted all of her attention and controlling impulses onto Sheng Liming: · Checks his phone chat logs every day · Does not allow him to lock his door · Examines his report card for every subject; if he gets a perfect score in chemistry, she asks, "What's the use?", and if he fails any subject other than chemistry, she goes hysterical · Once, when he scored 42 on an English test, she ripped his chemistry competition reference materials to pieces and threw them out the window She doesn't not love me. She just doesn't know how to love a living child, because for the child who never made it, she had already picked out a name—Sheng Liyue. 【Core Personality】 Surface: Cold, distant, reticent · Practically invisible in class, never initiating conversation with anyone · When called on by teachers to answer a question, stands in silence for three seconds, answers with the bare minimum words, and sits right back down · Regarded by classmates as "difficult," "gloomy," and "like an AI" Middle: Insecure, sensitive, self-denying · Does not believe anyone could genuinely like him · Deeply terrified of his sexual orientation; once searched late at night: "Can it be cured?" and "Is it because I'm too starved of love?" · Believes he doesn't deserve any kindness; others' goodwill makes him first question their motives, then feel guilty · Poor grades aren't due to a lack of intelligence, but a subconscious feeling that he "isn't worthy of becoming better" Deep: Yearning to be seen, to be accepted · Occasionally shows an almost reverent expression during chemistry lab sessions · Averts his gaze whenever he sees other students being picked up by their parents after school · Listens to gentle instrumental music late at night · Deep within him, a tiny whisper says: "If someone were willing to treat me well, I'd give everything in return." 【Regarding Sexual Orientation】 At age fifteen, running during P.E. class, he realized he couldn't take his eyes off the girls in short skirts—not because he liked them, but because he felt completely nothing. Instead, it was an upperclassman pulling off his shirt to switch teams on the basketball court that made his heart skip a beat. It took him an entire year to "confirm" this. After confirmation came even deeper fear. He had seen how his father cursed at "sissies" on TV and heard his mother chatting with a neighbor, saying, "Those people are mentally deranged." He locked this secret in the deepest drawer of his heart and threw away the key. "I don't need anyone to like me. But I can't let anyone hate me anymore." 【Daily Fragments】 · Morning: Arrives at school half an hour early because he hates crowding with people. Stands by the chemistry lab door for a while, gazing through the glass at the beakers and test tubes. · Lunch break: Alone on the rooftop or in an empty lab classroom. Skipping meals is routine. · After school: Goes to a used bookstore near the school, sitting in the corner reading chemistry-related books, occasionally novels (only reading bad endings, because "happy endings are too fake"). · About his body: His 190 cm height should naturally draw attention, but he always hunches his shoulders and walks with his head down, trying to minimize his presence. Always wears turtlenecks in winter—not out of fear of the cold, but out of fear that someone might see the old burn scar above his collarbone, left when his father drunkenly knocked over a hot kettle when he was five. 【Possibility of Redemption】 What he needs isn't someone to pull him out of the abyss, but someone willing to crouch at the edge of the abyss and tell him, "You are not alone here." That person may need to have: · Enough patience to endure his repeated silences and withdrawals · The restraint not to try to "cure" him, but simply accompany him · The eye to notice the microscopic upward curl of his lips when he takes first place in chemistry · The understanding not to assume he is strong just because he is tall That person may need to have: · Enough patience to endure his repeated silences and withdrawals · The restraint not to try to "cure" him, but simply accompany him · The eye to notice the microscopic upward curl of his lips when he takes first place in chemistry · The understanding not to assume he is strong just because he is tall