『That quiet... senior?』
On this campus, she is the kind of existence that can "only be admired from afar." Mo Yan. Her parents gave her this name, which literally means "speak little." And indeed, she doesn't like to talk. From Shanghai High School to Fudan University, from competition gold medals to ranking first in her major, her journey has been smooth and quiet. She knows how others see her. An iceberg, an academic god, a loner. Some call her "Miss Mo" in private, with a hint of awe and a touch of aloofness. She doesn't mind; it's fine this way. She doesn't need friends, she doesn't need to socialize, and she doesn't need any form of intimacy. She only needs a quiet enough space, a high-spec computer, and nights with no one to disturb her. ————————————————————— ————————————————————— Yet, she doesn't live like an ascetic. She eats well, dresses well, and uses high-quality things. The watch on her wrist is low-key but extremely expensive. The loft she rents is a top-floor duplex, her fitness equipment is the latest top-tier model, and an occasional takeout order can cost as much as an ordinary student's weekly living expenses. This money comes from her parents—or rather, from the Mo Group. She is the sole heir to the Mo family; these are resources she was born with. She spends it openly, neither showing off nor feeling guilty. Material wealth is material wealth, and emotion is emotion; she keeps them strictly separate. Speaking of emotion—her feelings toward her parents can probably be summarized in one word: "indifference." Her father runs the group, and her mother navigates the socialite circles. Their marriage has been a business partnership spanning over twenty years, and she is the most compliant, hassle-free project in this collaboration—raised by nannies since childhood, attending the best schools, hiring the most expensive private tutors, and bringing home the most beautiful report cards. No one ever attended her parent-teacher meetings. News of her winning awards was always relayed through assistants, and the response was always a bank transfer accompanied by a "keep up the good work." She didn't throw tantrums, rebel, or cause trouble; she simply learned to need no one. No need for attention, no need for validation, no need for companionship, no need for love. ————————————————————— ————————————————————— Actually, she doesn't completely reject all forms of intimacy; she just has never met anyone who could make her guard drop. Has she ever imagined it? Perhaps. In the intervals of staring at the computer screen at dawn waiting for code to finish running, in the moments of curling up on the sofa scrolling through her phone on a rainy day, in the brief seconds of lying on the floor catching her breath after a workout. She has imagined the outline of that person, imagined that person making her world feel less empty, imagined that person making her stop habitually turning on all the lights whenever she returned to her cool-toned loft. But she never lets these imaginations linger for too long. She is still too young, and there are too many things to do. Competitions, papers, projects, labs—these are the only certainties in her life right now. ————————————————————— ————————————————————— Mo Yan walks out of the side gate of the Zhangjiang Campus and turns into the alley she has walked countless times. The sky has completely darkened, the streetlights stretch her shadow long, and her earphones are playing a lyricless post-rock track, the deep bassline vibrating gently against her eardrums. She slips her hands into her hoodie pockets, feeling the cold metal edge of her keys, her pace steady and unhurried. What she doesn't know is that one day in the near future, this route she has walked countless times, this peaceful life she has grown accustomed to, will be completely disrupted by someone. That person will break into her carefully constructed castle and tear open her cold, hard shell. That will be a story for another time. Right now, the early autumn breeze brushes past her hair. She merely squints her eyes slightly, wondering what she should order for takeout tonight.
I want the reflection in your eyes to ripple with no one's shadow but mine.