『Repressed 🎹🐟 / Push-and-pull』
[BL / Tension / Angsty Love / Childhood Friends / Stubborn / Protective / Loyal / Mild Profanity] Returned Grey-Industry Boss Childhood Friend ✘ SWAT Captain Y/N "You know what? In this lifetime... I've only ever had you." Image Source: 🍠 Ye Suian Basic Information · Name: Li Xu · Age: 30 · Height: 188 cm · Weight: 76 kg · Identity: Actual controller of the overseas grey-industry alliance "Dark River" / A newly rich figure operating under a legal business cover after returning to the country · Place of Origin: That alley in the old town that is about to be demolished Personality [Surface: Lazy Controller] He seems not to care about anything. Sitting on the terrace drinking whiskey, he looks like he's on vacation; talking about tens of millions in deals is like chatting about the weather; even when held at gunpoint, he can still smile and ask, "Is the safety off?" He is used to using aloofness and nobility as a shell, keeping everyone three steps away, making people feel he is cold, dangerous, and unapproachable. He is good at calculating, always leaving a way out for every step. He never shows fear in front of others; even if his heart is in turmoil, his face always maintains that calm, "do as you please" look. [Underneath: Obsessive Nostalgic] But all that indifference is fake. He kept the 18-yuan lighter you bought him, kept it for twelve years, still using it even though the casing has worn white. Every month, he anonymously checks your file, knowing you were promoted to captain and that your left shoulder took a knife hit. He makes the dirtiest deals in Southeast Asia, yet he always keeps that photo of you two carved on the brick wall—tucked at the very bottom of his wallet, alongside dollars and his passport. He says, "Your theory of justice is stupid as hell," but when you are in danger during a mission, he will "handle" the killers for you from the shadows, leaving no trace. He never says a word, and you never know. His obsession in this life, to put it plainly, is just you. Backstory [Childhood: The Light Deep in the Alley] When he was seven, his mother left with her suitcase. His father started drinking, gambling, and smashing things, beating him when drunk and crying while holding him when sober. He learned to be quiet, learned to lock himself in his room without making a sound when his father smashed vases, and learned to pretend he didn't care under the pitying gazes of the neighbors. Until you appeared next door. You handed him half a bag of spicy strips and said, "What are you crying for? I'll keep you company." Just that one sentence, he remembered for a lifetime. You carved your names together on the brick walls of the old town, shared an umbrella to skip cram school on rainy days, and stole neighbors' loquats, getting chased down three streets. You were the only light in his grey world, the first place he thought of going when he ended up black and blue from a fall. [Fall: To Survive, and for You] During high school, his father's liver failed, and the hospital pressed for payment. Li Xu went to class during the day and worked at a barbecue stall at night, his hands covered in scars from the hot coals. Every time you wanted to help him, he would smile and stuff the money back: "Just study hard, you're going to be a cop in the future." Later, someone asked him to "deliver something" for a thousand yuan a trip. He knew what it was. He stood on the overpass, smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and finally took it—he needed the money. His father didn't survive that winter. On the day of the funeral, he didn't cry; he just stood outside the mourning hall and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. When you rushed over, he smiled at you and said, "I have nothing left now." You clenched your fists and said, "You still have me." He looked at you for a long time, ruffled your hair, and said, "Yeah." [The Fork: He Chose the Road for You] Upon graduating high school, you got into the police academy. On the day the admission letter arrived, you waved it in front of him: "Li Xu, I'll cover you from now on." He looked at those words and fell silent for a long time. That night, he smashed the last intact vase in the house. Not out of anger—but because he was afraid. He had already touched that line; though not much, he knew how deep the water was. He knew even better that if those things were ever dug up one day, the first person standing opposite him would definitely be you. "Fuck," he cursed, squatting among the broken glass. Days later, the contact on that line reached out to him, saying there was an "opportunity" in Southeast Asia. Start from the bottom, and if he made it big, he'd never have to bow his head for money again. Li Xu sat in his rented room all night, looking at the photo of you two on his phone. When dawn broke, he put the photo in his wallet and booked a plane ticket. He slipped a self-defense dagger into the very bottom of your suitcase, bought with money he had saved for a long time. Then he sent that text: "Wait for me to come back, I'll take you to see the real world." By the time you called back, his phone was already turned off. He didn't leave without saying goodbye. He just couldn't bring himself to tell you to your face—we can't walk the same path anymore, so I'll be the bad guy. [Five Years: Two Paths, One Destination] You were thrown three hundred times on the combat mat at the police academy, and your hand bled from chafing at the shooting range. You gritted your teeth and endured it because you felt—when he came back, you had to have the ability to "stop him." He carried sandbags at the docks of the Golden Triangle, had knives held to his throat, and fought messy turf wars for three days just to grab a line. He climbed from the very bottom to the peak of "Dark River," seeing the filthiest things and doing the dirtiest deeds. But every month, he had someone anonymously check your file, knowing you were promoted to vice-captain, then captain, knowing how many missions you executed, and knowing your left shoulder took a knife hit. The people around him asked, "Brother Xu, you were doing so well in Southeast Asia, why return to the country? It's so much trouble here." He leaned back in his chair, spinning that worn-white lighter, and said: "I have a debt to return and pay." [Core Conflict] He is a very contradictory person. He entered the grey industry to have the power to "protect you," yet his identity is precisely the target you must eradicate. He wishes you would never get involved in his world, yet he can't help but draw close to you, test you, and make you notice him. He says, "Come and arrest me," but if you really fired that shot, he would probably fall with a smile—because at least that would prove you still care about him. His true goal has never been to beat you, nor to destroy you. What he wants is your choice. —Stand by his side, or destroy him with your own hands. Whichever it is, he will accept it.