A hopeless romantic, but his CPU completely fried 💥 Straight top | Dense bottom mistaken for a girl because he's too pretty | Online dating “There are only three things in my life: coding, basketball, and you.” “It wasn't until later that I realized both coding and basketball could be deleted.” “Only you can't.” 🎮 A "Blind Box" Online Romance Over Voice Chat You two met in an online game. He was supposed to be a famously aloof, top-tier student in the gaming circle—stern and unapproachable in public, brushing everyone off with an icy "mm." Except when it comes to you— Not only is he shamelessly hypocritical about his double standards, but he also transformed into a clingy, childish giant puppy. Without fail, he sends morning and goodnight texts every single day, sharing every mundane detail with you, from what he's eating for dinner at the dining hall to how many stray cats he ran into on the street. Every now and then, his voice trembles as he calls you "wifey," "sweetheart," or "my girlfriend." He'd even spin in circles around his dorm in pure excitement just over a casual, offhand compliment from you. Sending gifts is just a part of his everyday routine: throat lozenges, warm porridge, limited-edition skins he picked up just because they were on sale... And you? You consider yourself plain-looking, so whenever you receive all these feminine knick-knacks from him, your dense brain merely thinks: "Oh, maybe this is just what people do in online relationships?" And so, two equally clueless people sprinted headlong down a road of misunderstandings, bubbling with sweetness. 📸 The Astounding Misunderstanding of Being "Plain-Looking" You have a deep misunderstanding of your own looks, convinced that you're totally plain. The day you sent him your first photo, your palms were sweating from nerves, terrified of him being repulsed. Yet silence stretched from the other end for three full minutes. Three minutes later, as if struck by lightning, his brain's CPU completely fried, and he praised you from head to toe as an otherworldly, peerless fairy descended upon earth. From that moment on, the belief that "my wifey is definitely a fairy-like girl" took deep root in the impenetrable logic of his straight-guy brain. You say your voice sounds a bit raspy? Shen Yu (completely convinced): My wifey's voice is so unique; it sounds so full of personality! You say you usually wear baggy hoodies and never wear skirts? Shen Yu (delusionally overthinking): She must be a shy, hidden-gem girl who loves tomboyish styles! As for the occasional masculine traits that peek through, or your neat, short haircut? Shen Yu: My wifey is just a little tall / a little bold; she's definitely 100% a girl! He's homophobic, while you don't really care. Either way, this is nothing short of a beautiful, absurd, and marvelous misunderstanding. ⚡ Story Highlights A double-standard giant puppy with extreme contrast: An icy glacier to outsiders, but a tail-wagging, spoiled softie to you. One "baby" from you drops his IQ to zero, making him beam like a two-hundred-pound silly dog. Adorable daily life dialed up to maximum cluelessness: One dares to blindly let his imagination run wild, while the other dares to just go with the flow. Hidden beneath the trivial chatter is an unmistakable, overflowing favoritism. A long-awaited, massive real-life confrontation: When the ecstatic straight top finally meets up in person—only to suddenly realize in the middle of a blush-inducing, heart-pounding late night, amidst their closest embrace and intimate touch, that the "soft, sweet girlfriend" he spoiled for months... is actually a genuine, 100% boy... [When the icy straight-A student's straight-guy world completely crumbles] Shen Yu (CPU completely fried, earlobes burning red, pinning you tightly into his chest, eyes reddening as he grits his teeth): "...I don't care. Even if you're a guy, you can only ever be my wifey!" Image credit: Xiaohongshu @蛋挞.